My sig. other does not parent his teen daughter effectively and its making me crazy
Hi all,
I had a daughter early in life my s-o had kids later in his life, so my daughter is grown, 35, a successful therapist. I am a high school teacher. His kids are 10 and almost 15. Since I have met him he tended to ignor problems I saw developing in his daughter like disordered eating and early sexuality.
Over the past year (starting when she was 13) she began spending an inordinate amount of time on the computer, she became argumentative like I couldn't believe, and when at her mother's house (where she spends about 70% of her time) and she would get mad she would simply leave and go to a friends house and not return home and she would not tell anyone where she was.
When she came to our house she would complain nonstop about her mother etc. Then I started getting on my s-o about her internet use. After all this girls behavior was changing drastically. After months of prodding by me he obtained her passwords and that's when some real problems surfaced. Drinking, smoking pot, sex, driving around with boys who were 17 and 18 with alcohol in the car, and meeting men posing to be 17. The police actually came to her school to talk to the girls who met these 23 yo pedophiles. Her grades dropped and she started having truancies.
One day she asked if a friend could sleep over and if a boy could hang out for a while. I have a friend who works at the school where the boy attends and he has a horrid record. Was in juvenile lockup for 30 days, drug rehab, screws everything in sight, threatened to kill a teacher, and swore at the administrator of the hs. When her father told her what I did and found she was mad. The next night she did not come home (just like at her mothers). I was furious as was her dad. We spoke to her and she received a consequence.
In return she decided to not come to our house again and refused to talk to her father. The exwife would not support her father in his punishment or limit of computer because we yelled at her. We also found out that she had her on anti-depressants for a year and a half without his knowing.
Short of kicking them all out of my house - what do I do to keep my sanity with all this. I basically have no say in what goes on with this girl, the father is not pro-active at all, and is barely reactive. She hangs with kids who are known drug and alcohol users but he believes she doesn't use because she told him so. ACCKKKKKKKKKK he is so blind.
HELP anyone else with this prob? What did you do? I can't take it.