Ask Me Help Desk - How can I prove to someone I am interested in, that I am over my ex?

Hello again everyone! I have been in a dilemma these past weeks and need your help in what I should do here. I have been broken up with my ex for almost a year now.. some hard times getting over it but she is getting married and moving away so I now know that it was not meant to be. I have been interested with a girl that I work with since January and have been friends with her since. We have hung out many times and she even asked me out awhile back but I declined cause I wasn't sure if I was ready to jump into something with someone new. I told her that when I am ready to be with someone I hope she is still there. Ever since we started being friends I showed interest but still felt hurt over the break up and she knew this but wanted to help. The last couple weeks she hasn't called me, text or even talks to me at work and just walks past me when she sees me. I called her yesterday to ask what is going on and she told me that she has been avoiding me because she needs some time away from me. That I am still always feeling down and have been taking it out on her (which sometimes I agree but that's cause I have been jealous that I haven't gotten much attention from her) and that she needed some time away from me for awhile to do things for herself. She has a lot of friends that are guys and I get jealous sometimes that she is giving more attention to them then me and I feel down about that because I have strong feelings for her. I told her that I have feelings for her and that everyone knows I do, that I think about her all the time and want to be with her. But she doesn't believe that I am over her completely because I seem so down all the time (which I don't believe). The thing about me is that I look like that sometimes when I am at work because its work and I am either tired or stressed out and I admit I take it out on her sometimes and have fought with her a bit because of it. But now she doesn't want to speak with me for awhile and thinks because I take it out on her sometimes that maybe we are not right to be friends or a couple. My question and what I need help with is What can I do to prove to her that I am over my ex and want to be with her even though she isn't speaking with me? What can I do to regain the interest she once had with me and show her that if I am with her I can be a better person, because I know that if I a, involved with someone new I can put all my energy into it instead of thinking about my ex. Any help would be great! Thanks

You may have gotten you over ex, but have you gotten over being jealous when she shows attention to someone else?

Another thing that stands out, is you work together so must see her, and have you thought of how that could be awkward.

In the end, its her decision to date you, or not.

This sound cheesy, send her flower (just one piece,not a bouquet), hello card, leave a short note on her desk or a dangling small toy (palm size) then wait for her reaction.

PS.Let her know its from you. Be patient.

I actually thought I could wait maybe a week and then send her something just to let her know I am thinking about her but haven't decided cause I don't know how she would respond to it right now. She loves getting things like that so she might love it but not sure.

Also I get jealous sometimes but who doesn't. I am like that because I am scared she is going to show interest in someone else. But I know I can't do anything about that. And for her working with me I see a few times a day so its not all that bad and not that awkward but it still gets tough being there when we are in this situation

Your insecurities are going to get the best of you my friend. If she shows interest in someone else, nothing you can do about that. Don't dwell on situations you can control, it only leaves you with a headache.

Seriously consider a work relationship, I did it and the awkwardness was outstanding! We broke up, it felt like a knife every time I would see her for the first month after we broke up. Then make sure you're ready to see her flirting with other guys and possibly in a relationship with one.

Also to be honest the time may be off and past, when she was interested you told her no, that most likely hurt her and it may be too late to get that back now.

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Also I get jealous sometimes but who doesn't.

Your right we all can be jealous but how do you cope with it??? Thats what determines if its a problem or not.

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I am like that because I am scared she is going to show interest in someone else. But I know I can't do anything about that.

Again, is your reaction a problem?

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and for her working with me I see a few times a day so its not all that bad and not that awkward but it still gets tough being there when we are in this situation

You've made my point, its tough now, but can you handle her interest in others, and not you? Can you handle the glitches that come with a relationship, while at work? Can you deal with her not seeing you as relationship material?

This situation can go either way, and get a lot tougher, and I think it will. Do you not have friends, and activities outside of work? Be great if you can keep work, and pleasure separate.

I wouldn't think that pursuing a suspicious person who has managed to put you on the defensive before you're even going out, I wouldn't think that's a great idea at all.

There are SO many things that have to work well for a dating endeavor to actually blossom, sounds like your soil with her is already troubled. I think you should step back and reconsider this whole thing.

In my last relationship, I actually worked with her as I do with this girl. I was dating my last girlfriend before we got a job together but if we broke up during that time I admit that it would be a little awkward. Not talking to her right now isn't that bad seeing as I barely see her that much at work.

Also, a buddy of mine asked her out a few months back and the next day she called him and told him that she only sees them as friends and nothing more. With me though, she is taking time to herself away from me. I find that strange because it was different with him than it is with me. If when I told her that I have feelings for her she told me the same thing that she told him, I know I wouldn't be in this situation. And for how it is going right now, I would feel better about all of this but she chooses otherwise. I wonder why that is?

The window of opportunity might be gone, or she is just not interested any more.

Maybe your interest needs to be refocused also.

But if her interest in my is gone then why doesn't she just confront me and tell me how she feels? When my friend asked her out awhile back she right away was straight with him about how she felt but with me she chooses to ignore me at all costs when we are working. She told me that she feels that I take my frustration out on her when I used to be down about my ex and wonders if maybe we are not compatible as friends. But when I cleared the air about it and told her that I acted immature about everything and told her that I have feelings for her she told me that she needs time away from me. Should I give her all the time she needs and not speak to her at all or should I wait a week or so and send her a small text to show her that I still think about her?

I saw her at work yesterday and she was walking towards me upstairs. She looked right at me, gave me a smile, said hello and walked right past me. I felt happy that she still knows I exist but still ignored me. I hope this doesn't last too long.

It would be a good idea to focus your interests in other directions, as seeing her, and debating how to fuel the fire, will only confuse and frustrate, you more, Stepping back, and getting a fresh perspective may clarify your course of actions. You may be to close, and to involved.

Its always a bad idea to waste time. Waiting on someone to change their mind, or make up their mind.

I have stepped back and realized that maybe she isn't worth all this trouble. I want someone who wants to be there for me and she seems very immature in how she is handling this. Like instead of coming to me and talking about it and working it out, she chooses to ignore and act immature about it. I miss her as a friend and would go back to being friends in a heartbeat but I don't know how I can make this happen. I have talked to her and cleared up everything she heard to her but she continues to act this way. I texted her last night to say hello and she never text back. Is there any solution to this besides giving her the space she needs? Cause I don't know how much I can take.

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Is there any solution to this besides giving her the space she needs? Cause I don't know how much I can take.

Leave her alone and move on with your life, without her in it. That's the perfect solution.