Annoyed by my boyfriend's porn
Hello there.
I have a relationship for 2 years. At first, as happens with most people, we were very active sexually, 6-7 months later until now, we have sex once or two a week.
My problem concerns to the taste of insecure that I have about myself, because of the expectations he expresses that he has from a woman. To be more specific: I have discovered by chance, almost 10 or 15 times, that he had watched porn on PC the previous night (while I was asleep!). I discussed it with him and told him that he could wake me up, as he knows this is something I love (to wake me up for having sex), but he told me it's easier for him when he feels suddenly horny to masturbate with porn.
But I feel so annoyed by this fact, because his favourite part at a woman's body is bottom, and he keeps on telling me I have much gym and diet to make one of his taste. I feel so insecure and jealous -I must admit- I also have cried many times alone...
I have been trying to lose weight (I am 70 kilograms and 1,73 meter tall, he is also overweight person the same as me), but he continues watching porn, without letting me know, late at night. His excuse: it helps him fall asleep and its something ALL GUYS DO!
I realize that my bad view about my ego has a low sex drive ability as a result. When we have sex I enjoy it, but as I don't feel secure and confident, thinking I am not able to satisfy him by not having the nice bottom he wants, I can't come most times.
I have explained all these to him, but he denies to understand me, says I am over-reacting.
What do you think can I do? I love him, am in love with him and don't want to lose him.