Starbuck8 was right. You don't have to be actually injured to get PTSD. I have a partner that suffers from it for six years now, after she left her 20 year old in her front yard, only to get a call from her other daughter that Cindy had been shot. She died before we could get back to the house. It hurts her in ways that I didn't think it would. Have your friend get professional help. Hopefully he can get back on track. A traumatic experience like the war, is not easy to ignore. I have a friend who's daughter was walking between two buildings near one of Hussien's compounds, when suddenly she was showered with one of her bodyguards brains. ( She's a prosecuting JAG attorney, that's why she had protection). She got out of there safely, and is now stationed in Germany, but she is suffering from the same thing. I used to think war was cool when I was younger, I mean it looked cool on the silver screen, but now...

Talk him into getting help. And best of luck!

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Originally Posted by BIGBOPPER

Starbuck8 was right. You don't have to be actually injured to get PTSD. I have a partner that suffers from it for six years now, after she left her 20 year old in her front yard, only to get a call from her other daughter that Cindy had been shot. She died before we could get back to the house. It hurts her in ways that I didn't think it would. Have your friend get professional help. Hopefully he can get back on track. A traumatic experience like the war, is not easy to ignore. I have a friend who's daughter was walking between two buildings near one of Hussien's compounds, when suddenly she was showered with one of her bodyguards brains. ( She's a prosecuting JAG attorney, that's why she had protection). She got out of there safely, and is now stationed in Germany, but she is suffering from the same thing. I used to think war was cool when I was younger, I mean it looked cool on the silver screen, but now......

Talk him into getting help. And best of luck!

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Thanks BigBopper. So much valuabe information. It is beginning to scare me. I think I am in over my head. I know my friend wants to be helped but I don't want to come on too strong where he doesn't want to talk to me if I suggest professional help. I'll keep my fingers crossed; remembering to o encourage and not push.

Exactly, it is a fine line when someone has a mental illness, and is not willing to face it. Your friend, however has a lot of help. The military is treating my friend's daughter in Germany, and will continue if she musters out. I know that he has VA benefits available to him. You might want to make an appointment with a county mental health worker, and use it to figure out a way to guide him towards help. Hopefully he will get the help he needs, and I wish you the best of luck..

I have been told that I have PTSD, and it had nothing to do with war, but it was violence just the same. More than a yr and a half ago, my ex, whom I fully trusted throughout our relationship, forced his way into my home, and broke several bones in my body. I was in shock, and was unable to even give a police report at that night, and it took several days to actually remember the events.

I still have flashbacks, and horrible nightmares to this day. Sometimes I can be just sitting at home alone, doing my normal everday things, and a feeling comes over me for no reason that I can pinpoint, and I feel trapped, and terrified.

So yes, it can come in many forms after any traumatic experience, and it is probably more common than even you or I know!

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Originally Posted by starbuck8

I have been told that I have PTSD, and it had nothing to do with war, but it was violence just the same. More than a yr and a half ago, my ex, whom I fully trusted throughout our relationship, forced his way into my home, and broke several bones in my body. I was in shock, and was unable to even give a police report at that night, and it took several days to actually remember the events.

I still have flashbacks, and horrible nightmares to this day. Sometimes I can be just sitting at home alone, doing my normal everday things, and a feeling comes over me for no reason that I can pinpoint, and I feel trapped, and terrified.

So yes, it can come in many forms after any traumatic experience, and it is probably more common than even you or I know!

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Exactly! My girlfriend researched the issue, and found out that actual physical violence is not necessarily s trigger for PSTD. Any traumatic experience can cause it, including such things we might find mundane as losing a job, a relationship, things like that. I hope they hauled away your ex for a long time. Unfortunately, Cindy's killer was never accused for the crime. The cops, wanting an easy job, we think, ruled it a suicide. One "good" thing though. The creep was later arrested and sent to prison, for putting a gun to the head of his pregnant girlfriend. A fine upstanding citizen if I ever saw one.

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Originally Posted by BIGBOPPER

Exactly! My girlfriend researched the issue, and found out that actual physical violence is not necessarily s trigger for PSTD. Any traumatic experience can cause it, including such things we might find mundane as losing a job, a relationship, things like that. I hope they hauled away your ex for a long time. Unfortunately, Cindy's killer was never accused for the crime. The cops, wanting an easy job, we think, ruled it a suicide. One "good" thing though. The creep was later arrested and sent to prison, for putting a gun to the head of his pregnant girlfriend. A fine upstanding citizen if I ever saw one.

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I'm glad that haneous man was hauled off to prison. I hope he stays there for a long time! I didn't get so lucky. After my ex forced his way in, he broke my ribs, cheekbone, bruised my lung, and reinjured my hip. The idiot judge in our small city, slapped him with a whopping $500 fine. :rolleyes: He has ripped my vehicles apart piece by piece, vandalized other property, and I've been getting harassing phone calls for the last yr and a half, the latest one being the night before last, when there was a voice on the other end that said in a whisper, "I'm watching you". The police do nothing but write out reports. Pretty sad that is how our legal system works, isn't it.

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Originally Posted by BIGBOPPER

Starbuck8 was right. You don't have to be actually injured to get PTSD. I have a partner that suffers from it for six years now, after she left her 20 year old in her front yard, only to get a call from her other daughter that Cindy had been shot. She died before we could get back to the house. It hurts her in ways that I didn't think it would. Have your friend get professional help. Hopefully he can get back on track. A traumatic experience like the war, is not easy to ignore. I have a friend who's daughter was walking between two buildings near one of Hussien's compounds, when suddenly she was showered with one of her bodyguards brains. ( She's a prosecuting JAG attorney, that's why she had protection). She got out of there safely, and is now stationed in Germany, but she is suffering from the same thing. I used to think war was cool when I was younger, I mean it looked cool on the silver screen, but now......

Talk him into getting help. And best of luck!

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I meant to say more, but my computer froze on me once again. That is horrific what happened to your partners daughter Cindy, and to your friend. I can't even imagine such things. That has got to be incredibly life altering.

The only thing I CAN relate to is the PTSD. It really does take a lot of different forms, and pops up when you least expect it to. Could be a sound, something on TV, a smell,. just a lot of different things that can trigger a memory. It's not an easy thing to deal with. It sure doesn't mean you are crazy. It means that you have been severely traumatized by something that has happened, and it's a very difficult thing to overcome. I wish more people would educate themselves, and not judge until they have walked a mile in the shoes of that person.

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Originally Posted by BigS

Thanks BigBopper. So much valuabe information. It is beginning to scare me. I think I am in over my head. I know my friend wants to be helped but I don't want to come on too strong where he doesn't want to talk to me if I suggest professional help. I'll keep my fingers crossed; remembering to o encourage and not push.

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All you can do is encourage and support him. Don't let it scare you away, just listen if he wants to talk.

Thanks again starbuck8 and BigBopper. Seems like this PTSD stuff never actually goes away. I hope talking about this is helping others who are going through this too. Starbuck8 if I were you I would record everything and keep a diary just in case something happens to you.

I don't want to get so involved that my friend's problems that it becomes one of my own. I started reading about depression and PTSD and there are lots of avenues to take. No matter what it is great talking to real people like you who can actually bring your personal stories to the table and I can see it in a different light.

The only thing I CAN relate to is the PTSD. It really does take a lot of different forms, and pops up when you least expect it to. Could be a sound, something on TV, a smell,. just a lot of different things that can trigger a memory. It's not an easy thing to deal with. It sure doesn't mean you are crazy. It means that you have been severely traumatized by something that has happened, and it's a very difficult thing to overcome. I wish more people would educate themselves, and not judge until they have walked a mile in the shoes of that person.

And if they could, what a wonderful world it could be... Unfortunately, depending on the person, they will not be as open minded about the issue, any issue for that matter. I notice that I am swinging this off topic, so I'll go back to behaving. But in your case I did want to point out, or ask, Have you contacted the State Attorney's office, or county prosecutor? I know that here in South Florida, It takes three complaints against a person, and you can file a restraining order. If numbnitz breaks the order, it is grounds enough to haul him to jail and face stiffer penalties. Are there stalking laws where you are? Record those phone calls if you can with a phone answering machine. If he drives by, greet him at the door with a camera. Document his stupidity, and I believe the courts are kind of obligated to take note.

At any rate, I hope that in your situation, that you can get this guy and get him way for a long time... Best of luck!

Thanks BB! I live in Canada, but the laws aren't much different from the states. (My parents live in Englewood Fla. not far from Sarasota) I have done just about everything, and I mean everything, I can think of to do.

The damn prosecutor was the one that offered my ex a plea bargain, and went back and fourth with the defence. I had absolutely no say in the matter. I was FURIOUS! I have a large briefcase full of notes, a good inch thick of phone records, documentations, police records (when they bothered to make one) bills for my vehicles, bills for other vandalism... you name it, I've got it.

The problem is that these things happen sporatically. The vandalism usually happens at night, and it doesn't matter where I am. I could be at home, I could be at the pub having drinks with friends, or I could even be at a friends house.

He has never been caught doing it, nor do the police take prints. I don't use a local phone company, so the cops won't take the time to trace the calls. The other night was one of few times that he said anything, he just usually calls over, and over, and over. Usually around 3am when the bars let out. I would change my #, but then I'm afraid that will make him angrier if he can't get me on the phone, and then he will do more vandalism. I'd rather have a heads up, even if the cops won't do anything. It's one big circle jerk.

He was given a "no contact" order along with his fine. I pushed for at least a restraining order, but that didn't happen either. All a "no contact" order means, is that he can't speak to me himself, or through other people or means. If I'm out for dinner, or at any public establishment, it is legal for him to sit at the next table, as long as he doesn't speak to me! WOOHOO! What message do you think THAT gives him. He knows he can get away with pretty much anything he wants.

It was almost 45mins, the other night, before the cops even showed up at my door. Their excuse? They were casing the neighbourhood to see if they could see anyone suspicious. In the meantime, I could have been laying on my floor bleeding to death for all they new. It's crazy!

Thanks for your concern though, it was nice of you to ask. Hopefully one of these days I will get a cop that went into that line of work to help and protect everyday citizens that actually obey the law. ;)