Ask Me Help Desk - Going out with my best friend, but he won't talk much.

Me and my best friend have been going out for about 3 weeks and hardly see each other..
I really wish he would be less shy and actually talk to me more and take me places or at least hug me... but he's just too worried about our parents finding out.. he is getting very quiet and I feel like I'm doing all of the talking... he doesn't know how what to do because I'm his first girlfriend... how to I get him to be less shy and willing to be in this relationship?

Why are you worried about your parents finding out? If you can't tell your parents about a relationship, maybe you aren't old enough to be dating and should just worry about being friends.

First relationships are tough. You guys just have to get used to being around each other.

I honestly don't understand why this is in the Relationship section.

In my opinion, it should be posted in the Teens section so that those people with more experience in that subject have a chance to help. Not all experts check out the relationship section if they feel that their 'knack' in helping is more focused on teen subjects. So, I would copy your question and place it in the Teens section also just to make sure you get all the advice available. There are some pretty smart and kind teens who have gone through this and are here on the site willing to help, so give them a try.

Anyway, we all know that when we start dating, some guys and girls are basically shy and don't know what to do. It all takes learning how and gaining experience. Also, maybe your young man has been told by his parents that they don't think he is old enough to 'date' and he fears repercussion if 'caught'. Also he might have peer pressure to be a 'go-getter' and is scared that they might make fun of him if he does not go out with a girl.

He could also be scared of what you might think of him if he says something wrong or if he 'hugs' you and you won't like it.

It's so hard being a teen and growing up. Even though babies have to learn to walk, sometimes teens think they are expected to know everything and they don't - it's all something new and it takes practice.

So, give him time and keep on talking to him about normal everyday things like music, comedy, books, food, weather, school and get him to feel more comfortable around you. Tell him that you'd like to go to a nice place to eat and if he'd like to take you there. This is all new to him and you might have to slowly help and 'guide' him in the right direction. Don't expect him to read your mind, just like you can't read his.

Be easy with him and honest and not pushy.

Good luck in this new chapter in your life, and his. It would also help if you told us how old you are.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Chery

Anyway, we all know that when we start dating, some guys and girls are basically shy and don't know what to do. It all takes learning how and gaining experience. Also, maybe your young man has been told by his parents that they don't think he is old enough to 'date' and he fears repercussion if 'caught'. Also he might have peer pressure to be a 'go-getter' and is scared that they might make fun of him if he does not go out with a girl.

He could also be scared of what you might think of him if he says something wrong or if he 'hugs' you and you won't like it.

It's so hard being a teen and growing up. Even though babies have to learn to walk, sometimes teens think they are expected to know everything and they don't - it's all something new and it takes practice.

So, give him time and keep on talking to him about normal everyday things like music, comedy, books, food, weather, school and get him to feel more comfortable around you. Tell him that you'd like to go to a nice place to eat and if he'd like to take you there. This is all new to him and you might have to slowly help and 'guide' him in the right direction. Don't expect him to read your mind, just like you can't read his.

Be easy with him and honest and not pushy.

Chery is right. Since he's ur bestfriend, you most likely know what interest him, when he's in the mood, when to leave him alone..so for now just try to enjoy the ride