In January I married the most amazing woman. Just after things got rough with my job and I didn't want to let her down so I hid that from her. I was trying to quit smoking to and that wasn't going very well and I hid that too. Then I started hanging out with some friends that I really thought changed but they stabbed me in the back and I got put in jail. We are working on things and I just need some direction. I want to do right by them. Any help I would be very grateful.

If your wife truly loves you than you shouldn't hide things from her, she will understand, working things out together will take a lot of the stress off

I have a feeling that if you listen to your amazing wife you won't go wrong
She is the one with your best interest at heart.

Man I really think that these people are really smart maybe you should listen to them too. Im sure your wife really loves you and that things will be OK. You just need to prove to her that honesty is the way that you want to go and that you truly love her and that you can take care of her and I'm sure everything will be OK

Yeah, I won't ever hide anything from her again and I will always be upfront and honest with her. She is my world and I lost her once and I will never let that happen again.

You want to do right "by them?" By whom else other than your wife?

Your "friends" that got you thrown in jail? They GOT YOU thrown in jail? Is that what really happened? Are you sure you didn't have anything to do with that at all? You couldn't have kept that from happening? GETTING YOU thrown in jail means you did nothing and someone framed you, but someone NOT PROTECTING you from your own actions and your actions become known to the police and you get caught and get jailed... that's NOT the same thing as THEY GOT YOU put in jail. That's you getting you put in jail, and they just couldn't/wouldn't try to stop it.

It REALLY helps if you're honest at least with yourself about these things if you want to do better. Taking responsibility for your own actions puts you back in the driver's seat and makes "doing better" an actual possibility, OK? So, who got you thrown in jail? Be honest.

Lastly, there should be no "them" in the "doing right by" category, there should only be "doing right by her". She is your queen, you're princess, your treasure. Protect her like the treasure she is.

Do better. No more lying, not ever (except about birthday gifts).

Grow Up!!

Doing right by them. Well I have a daughter too. Yes THEY did get me put in jail. I borrowed a game from, let's say his name is Bill. Well on my way home I stopped at another friends house. Let's say his name is Jim. Well Bill and his girlfriend came over saying some things got stolen from their house and guess what it turned out to be. The game he let me borrow. It turned out that Jim let Bill borrow it. It wasn't his to lend so when Jim asked for it back, instead of saying he loaned it to me he said I stole it. Their girlfriends got involved and it was 4 people's word against my own. That's how it happened. Thank you to all those who have been helping. I just want to get back on track and do right by my family. It's nice to have people that will give some advice.

Sounds like you need new friends.
With friends like him who needs enemies?

OK, fair enough. After giving that "take account of your own involvement instead of blaming others" speech, you're the first one to come back with a story I believe counts as "framing"... which I did mention was a possibility. You win on that one.

So, new friends it is!!

As for your family, what is standing between you and being an awesome husband/dad?

Looking your wife in the eyes and telling her about a "failure" isn't failing. Its about trust.

I tend to think I can manage everything on my own. I should be able to shoulder the burden myself. As much as I like helping others, I hate asking for help.

That said, the best thing you can do is try to be open and honest with her. As for your friends... they seem worth leaving in the dust,

Yeah, I don't talk to those people anymore. I don't know. I know my wife lost a lot of trust and I'm working really hard on getting that back. I know I still have a lot to do as far as working on things. I just need a little advice on everything. Maybe if someone has had a similar experience or something.