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-   -   I think my boyfriend and I hate each other (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=237103)

  • Jul 13, 2008, 07:32 PM
    jolee523
    I think my boyfriend and I hate each other
    I don't know what to do, my boyfriend and I are always fighting, but we won't break-up with one another. I want the relationship to work. He is a great guy in many ways, but I just can't get over the things that annoy about him and I end up starting fights about them all the time.
  • Jul 13, 2008, 08:07 PM
    MoonkinBaby
    It depends really on what you fight about, Also do you live with him and how long have you been together?
    My boyfriend and I have been together for over one year and living together, we fight about silly things and we come through fine.
    We fought about one serious issue and all that I needed to do was communicate.
    I am sure if you just talk things over and the both of you cater to each others needs, some of the fighting can be solved =]
  • Jul 13, 2008, 08:24 PM
    mimi03
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jolee523
    I don't know what to do, my boyfriend and I are always fighting, but we won't break-up with one another. I want the relationship to work. He is a great guy in many ways, but I just can't get over the things that annoy about him and I end up starting fights about them all the time.



    If you just can't get over the things that annoys you about him... simply get out of the relationship.
    You end up starting fights? Are rational adult conversations not an option?

    If the title is true: You hate each other. Stop waisting one another's time and break up.
  • Jul 13, 2008, 08:41 PM
    bigbird213
    I think the biggest question is what you are fighting about. Is there a consistent theme to the arguments? Does the same person start them? Do they always end the same way?

    These are all important questions which will give us a lot more insight into your issues. If you really don't think it will work, then be honest and open with him and tell him. He deserves to know this.
  • Jul 13, 2008, 09:11 PM
    jrsg
    If you keep starting the fights, then you either stop and get along, or end the relationship. Things are going to annoy you about anybody, but you need to get past those things, and see the person inside. Get over the things that annoy you, even learn to embrace them.

    I agree with mimi, if you CAN'T get over his minor flaws, end the relationship. It is not fair to either of you to continue the relationship when you "hate" each other.
  • Jul 14, 2008, 07:25 AM
    talaniman
    If you aren't getting along, and not working together, why are you both still there? Why drag it out, and be miserable??
  • Feb 10, 2009, 06:19 PM
    jolee523
    My boyfriend is trying to leave me
    Threads merged


    My boyfriend left me on Thursday. My heart sank and I couldn't breath. I was trying to breath, but it was impossible. MY family lives in Florida, and my best friend betrayed me. I felt as if I had no one. I pretty much drank myself into oblivion to wake up to him sleeping next to me the next day.
    Since then we have tried to talk; pretty much I have some to the conclusion he feels tied down and that I am controlling. He thinks he should start masturbating again and be able to go out with his friend to workout and play video games whenever he wants to. The sex has been less frequent because the relationship has been so bad lately. He thinks it is because I am lonely. I think he should be there for me in my time of need. I am so confused. HE IS a loner and I am usually very social but recently it has been reversed. I want all his time, but he has a new friend. And he is having thoughts about finding other women because he has not been masturbating because he says he cannot see what else is out there. Before when he masturbated he knew he had the best now I guess since he doesn't see anything else well I don't know. Help. I really love him and want to work thing out.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 02:59 AM
    tickle

    You say 'masturbating' a lot throughout. Why is this. Do you two not have a good sexual relationship ?
  • Feb 11, 2009, 02:19 PM
    jolee523

    no. I think it is just that he likes to masturbate and I don't like that he does and he tried to stop form. He also tried to stop smoking, but that did not work either. I think he feels that I don't like things about him. He said since we stopped having sex for a short time that he was getting horny and that he noticed he waas looking at girls boobs and butts more often, so I guess he was just horney.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 02:43 PM
    Justwantfair

    First of all ALL men masterbate, girlfriend, wife single, it doesn't matter. Telling him he is forbidden will make him want to leave.

    You having panic attacks because he is going to leave you just so that you can "need" him so much that he can't leave is manipulation as well.

    These are NOT healthy relationship behaviors.

    You sound young, how old are you?
  • Feb 11, 2009, 03:15 PM
    neverme

    Just want to say... All men and women (or nearly all) masturbate there's nothing wrong with that. You don't have the right to forbid that. It's his penis and he can do what he likes with it?
  • Feb 11, 2009, 03:33 PM
    TrueFaith

    OK yeah you can't stop mem from doing that I am sorry I don't care what relationship you are in

    We all masturbate. So don't think that's the problem
    I think the real problem in that reltionship was

    You are very controlling and have a lot of self worth and issues. With in yourself. You think your alone and have no one. So you CLING onto your boyfriend and just won't let him go

    You have to let people be. Who the are. They can't lose the things they like to do just because they are in a relationship. Understand?

    So my advice let the guy go. And work on your own issues.

    Then get back into a relationship when you understand. What it is to be in one
  • Feb 11, 2009, 03:45 PM
    JoeCanada76

    This poster sounds very young. This does not sound like a relationship and possible that it is a ha ha and thank you for the laughs.

    Please Needy one, you need to live your life for yourself and heal yourself and start depending on yourself instead of this person.

    Your neediness will chase this person away for good and you know what if he wants to leave. Your best advice that I am going to give right now.

    LET HIM LEAVE.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 04:00 PM
    neverme
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by MamaJ View Post
    i know guys dont like to be kept held down

    No one does!!
  • Feb 12, 2009, 05:38 PM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    I just can't get over the things that annoy about him and I end up starting fights about them all the time.

    That's probably why he wants to leave as your smothering him, and taking all the joy from his life.

    Give him room to breathe, and get yourself under control.
  • Feb 13, 2009, 06:56 AM
    Romefalls19

    Stop controlling him, you are like a vice onto his life. Do you like breathing? Yea, so does everyone else
  • Nov 15, 2010, 06:44 PM
    princesselleq
    Everyone is born different. When you truly love the other one, it's to accept those flaws and love them regardless. Besides, if it's meant to be, it'll work out. If it's not then no matter how hard you try, it won't work.

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