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-   -   My boyfriend need space and time to make himself better. I don't know what to do. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=237047)

  • Jul 13, 2008, 04:07 PM
    Perladina
    My boyfriend need space and time to make himself better. I don't know what to do.
    Hello,:(
    I am completely lost in my relationship. I have been with a men for 2 years and half everything was great until he start getting cold with me for 2 past month. But it was still okay. I know he has a lot of things going on in his life right now and that his parent decided to let him take care of himself, and he cannot find a job, and it has been hitting him a lot. And, I also know that he has not been easy for him because too because I thought he was cheating on me, and I have been really pushy. But, he told me that he needs his space, and that he is not leaving me and that I should allow him to make himself better, but right now he is just thinking about himself, and he is not ready to give what I want, and that he is not ready to go out with anyone because he is not himself and that is doesn't want anything from me right now. But that he still loves me and think about me, but I don't know what to think anymore... I can't eat, I can't sleep, I am crying, crying because I want him back in my life, but I know know if he broke up with me or he just need space at that point. What is funny is like he wasn't like that, he started to behave like this since June 23. But, I love him so much, my heart is just in piece right now... He was even talking about coming to my birthday last month, talking about having babies, and now I don't recognize him... My whole world is fallen, I don't know what to do without him, he has been so good to me, I just don't recognize him, I don't know if it is not my fault... please help me... I want him back like it was before, I also know I should not call him... but... I can't help it... He said he is not a 10 percent in our relationship at the moment, and I should allow him to make himself better... I feel like I am dying.. Please help me... is it me... does he still love me?:(
  • Jul 13, 2008, 06:44 PM
    talaniman
    For whatever reason he is confused, and has changed his mind, so do as he asks, and give him space, and use the time to balance your life with things you enjoy, and find your own happiness without him. Sorry for your loss.
  • Jul 13, 2008, 06:47 PM
    JoeCanada76
    Give him the space he needs. Very simple.
  • Jul 14, 2008, 07:34 PM
    Perladina
    So I shouldn't call him or text him, and just wait... Maybe I stressed him too much
  • Jul 14, 2008, 07:52 PM
    ylaira
    Don't kill yourself thinking about him. He said he needs space so DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE TO KILL TIME!
  • Jul 15, 2008, 05:29 AM
    Romefalls19
    All you can do is give him what he asks for, and that's space. Give it time and one of two things will happen. You will realize you're healing and better of without this guy or he will want to come back
  • Jul 16, 2008, 08:36 AM
    Perladina
    Thank you for your advice, it is not easy for me because I am confused... I don't have any explanation, and in the same time he says he want his space, and in the same time even though he doesn't call him, or text me like he used to, he he still sending me message to say hi, or to ask him how was my journey, telling me good night... I haven't called him since, but he is trying to keep contact somehow... I don't know what to thinK AGAIN
  • Jul 16, 2008, 12:01 PM
    talaniman
    Don't let his contact confuse you. Stop responding, so he makes a decision for himself, with no influence from you.
  • Jul 16, 2008, 12:12 PM
    2B4Ever
    I think you are over stressing yourself with this relationship. Don't worry about everything and have faith. Sometimes a man likes to know a woman can take care of herself and not be so needy. If he sees that you can trust him and go about your daily living he will have more respect for you. How old are you? Be strong! Be happy and Healthy! Blessings
  • Jul 16, 2008, 03:55 PM
    Perladina
    I have 23 years old, he is 25. Thank you for your encouragement, it is not easy, but I will do my best to be stronger, and positive
  • Jul 16, 2008, 04:17 PM
    lola nyc
    Im going through sort of the same my guy wants a break.. my post is up..

    He may be a bit confused but if he is still texting saying goodnight etc.. Sounds like he still loves you. Maybe don't respond to his texts for a few days.. maybe he'll come around. Don't stress out yet.. And your very young! I know you prob don't want to hear this but you have time.. just let him be for a while.
  • Jul 16, 2008, 09:26 PM
    2B4Ever
    Your right, It is not easy and you are young. Relationships take time. Value your time, be patient. I'll say a little prayer for you... HUGS!
  • Jul 17, 2008, 10:20 AM
    Perladina
    Thank you so much for reconforting me, sometimes I just feel guilty to have stressed him, fight with him those past months. I know I have not been easy but I just felt like he was changing, and I know he was stress too... but I was just scared... I will let him be like you said, and I hope the best will come sooner or later
  • Jul 21, 2008, 08:45 PM
    Perladina
    Hey guys, he has start calling me since Monday, and he told me that he just wanted to say hi, I did as you told (no class no text messaging), and yesterday night he called me to pretend like if he was ill, and he just wanted to say hi. Today he text me telling me that he is still alive, and that he hope that I am fine... I don't want to reply and I will maybe tomorrow
  • Jul 22, 2008, 05:49 AM
    Romefalls19
    Good for you! Keep it up! I am proud of your strength and will power
  • Dec 23, 2008, 08:04 AM
    knowitall5
    I can say that the best thing for you to do, is to take a deep breath and prepare to be patient because if he says he needs space, and you truly love him, then that's what you will have to do. I have been in a similar situation and even though it has completely broken me down, I love my man and want the best for him. You never know what is really going in on his end, however you owe it to him to let him sort things out. I have found that men go through a lot of pressure and especially when a relationship is serious, sometimes the stress of the future makes them sweat. How is his finances, how is his career going, most times when a man doesn't have everything in order, their world seems to get jumbled and they need the space to put the pieces together. This may have nothing to do with you, but if its something that is worth waiting for, then sit back and relax. Take this time to better yourself, focus on other things, and let him see that this is only a stumbling block and that you love and respect him enough to obey his choice for now. If its meant to be, no space, time, or anything else can stop you from getting back together. Besides let him have time to miss you.
  • Dec 23, 2008, 09:15 AM
    411Help

    My girlfriend is asking for the same thing. I'm in my second day of no contact, it's hard, harder then I would have imagined. I'm fighting through it! Lets both be strong together! We'll survive! Trust me.
  • Jul 28, 2011, 08:01 AM
    Dasile
    So, did you get back together?:)
  • Jul 28, 2011, 09:09 AM
    talaniman

    Its been 3 years since this poster has been here. Please note the dates on threads you post on.

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