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-   -   Friends? Why? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=236183)

  • Jul 10, 2008, 10:30 PM
    bush
    Friends? Why?
    Hey.. Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up 5 months ago. Went through ups and downs in mean time. To make long story short was her decision to breakup. After time and my best attempts at NC etc.. We've met up a couple times, had blast but she still think "we made the right decision" and she still wants to be friends.. What does this mmean.. don't think I'm ready.. has she moved on.. what does she want from a friendship?
  • Jul 10, 2008, 11:34 PM
    friend4u178
    She doesn't want to feel guilty for breaking it off , but she's making it clear that its over.

    If your not over her then your not ready to be friends yet. That will only make it worse for you.
  • Jul 11, 2008, 12:19 AM
    JBeaucaire
    Friends, you know, coffee, a movie, talk about current dates and relationships. You know, friends.

    If you ask me, you're out here on a website soliciting info from people who have never met either one of you about what she could be doing... that's not a good sign.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bush
    "What does this mean...dont think im ready.. has she moved on..what does she want from a friendship?"

    Well, that sums it up right there, you're talking about her, but YOU'RE the problem. YOU aren't ready at all, you aren't ready to be her friend. Not ready at all. If you let this happen, I promise you weeks and weeks of misery. I'd skip the "let's be friends" as long as you're still harboring this much active feeling for her.

    It will pass eventually or someone else will take that spot in your life. Maybe then. Not now.
  • Jul 11, 2008, 08:42 AM
    talaniman
    She doesn't want a relationship as bf/gf, but you do, so YOUR going along with her plan, hoping she changes her mind, which she won't. Leave her alone, and save your heart a lot of misery and pain. Move on, because she surely has.
  • Jul 11, 2008, 09:55 AM
    Shorn9
    Save your heart the pain... the just friends will not work since you are still not ready for it.
  • Jul 11, 2008, 10:03 AM
    progunr
    A quote of lyrics from a song by Lobo:

    "I love you too much to ever start liking you, so lets just let the story have an end,
    I love you too much to ever start liking you, so don't expect me, to be your friend".

    I think that sums it up pretty well.
  • Jul 11, 2008, 11:25 AM
    Witchywoman1212
    Such cold and answer, move on because she already has,it may be true but beaucaire nails it right down the nail,be friends and you'll have weeks and weeks of misery,you Don't want to do that. I read in a website posted by Psychotherapist Rhona Findings,when she says no you cannot be friends,she writes,(well its both for men and women)
    But she wrote, if a man (or woman) doesn't reciprocate your feelings or not wanta relationship with you? Why would you want a friendship with him or her?
    Its what you want,not just her,she can break it off and insist in being friends she will run the show and always have the upper hand, take it from someone whose been there and done that. Not to say friendship is not possible down the road, but not now and As123 wrote,that can happen down the line preferabbly when you're over her and have someone else.

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