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-   -   Married and Having An Affair with Older Married Man (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=235892)

  • Jul 10, 2008, 07:29 AM
    Carmen Jones
    Married and Having An Affair with Older Married Man
    It's over.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 07:33 AM
    N0help4u
    So you do not want an affair for love
    You want a sugar daddy that you feel should pay?

    My take on this is he wants the first scenario and
    You feel the other
    You press the issue and he could just go looking for a professional hooker.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 07:41 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u
    So you do not want an affair for love
    you want a sugar daddy that you feel should pay?

    My take on this is he wants the first scenario and
    you feel the other
    you press the issue and he could just go looking for a professional hooker.



    I'm not sure where the distinction between having an affair and asking for money/being a hooker is - I think maybe if "financial issues" cause a person to have an affair and ask to be paid for the pleasure of your company you're walking toward that line.

    Don't the majority of married men having affairs claim the sex is bad at home - or non existent - ?
  • Jul 10, 2008, 07:49 AM
    N0help4u
    Where ever the line of distinction is
    He is the owner of the wallet in his pocket.
    No obligation to giving her a dime.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 07:50 AM
    NowWhat
    The commitment, the responsibility falls on your husband. That is who you said vows to. Not this other person. He has no financial responsibilities to you. To expect money for services rendered, well, you stop being a lover and start being a prostitute.

    If you need money that badly, get a second job. You are wrecking your entire life because of a dollar. One day you will look back and realize that it was not worth it.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 11:07 AM
    Carmen Jones
    If I were a single woman, perhaps the answers would be different. Married men are usually expected to "pay to play"... nothing is free. I'm not a hooker, but at the end of the day, I want something to show for the intimacy I provide. If I am still in the same situation financially afterwards, is it really worth my time ? Why should he be the only one benefiting from the affair ? Let's keep in mind why I even decided to do this. I like the nice places he takes me and the attention he gives to me, but I want more. He's getting what he wants... why can't I ?
  • Jul 10, 2008, 11:10 AM
    N0help4u
    Yeah if you are in it for the money and he keeps his money in his pocket then it is not worth it.
    If you don't get the satisfaction from the intimacy and he don't pay then you are with the wrong business/affair.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 11:44 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Carmen Jones
    If I were a single woman, perhaps the answers would be different. Married men are usually expected to "pay to play"...nothing is free. I'm not a hooker, but at the end of the day, I want something to show for the intimacy I provide. If I am still in the same situation financially afterwards, is it really worth my time ? Why should he be the only one benefiting from the affair ? Let's keep in mind why I even decided to do this. I like the nice places he takes me and the attention he gives to me, but I want more. He's getting what he wants...why can't I ?



    Well, starting with sex for money is illegal and working backwards - only you know if it's worth your time to have sex with this guy without being paid for it.

    I also think cheaters cheat so I trust you are getting tested regularly for sexually transmitted diseases and he is, also - people are dying out there. I would also be prepared for the wife - he may not be as dumb as rocks - to catch on, catch him, catch you and name you in Court. On the other hand, she may know and be very happy someone else is servicing him.

    So tell him you want to get paid; that he is getting sex and you think you should get something. It's as simple as that. At the moment for purposes of negotiation - and I'm in and out of Court, do some pretrial interviews - oral woman to man is $20; intercourse is in the area of $40; anal is closer to $50. You don't have a pimp so you have more room to negotiate.

    Now if you're going to work off the streets, have the looks, education, clothes and bearing to be high class call girl and out of the hooker/street walker category the prices are much, much higher. So ask him what sex with you is worth on the open market.

    And, presto, your problem is solved -
  • Jul 10, 2008, 11:45 AM
    AandZ4ever
    Get your life together and stop breaking hearts. Everybody will eventually find out and you will be alone. You messed up and for what? Temptation? A few fun scandalous nights with a married man. Married men don't usually leave their wives. So u messed up.put an end to it before he puts an end to you.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 12:51 PM
    JudyKayTee
    [QUOTE=Comments on this post: N0help4u agrees: one problem being if he doesn't pay up she can't sue :-[/QUOTE]


    Likewise if he agrees, pays up front and isn't satisfied, he would have an action against her. Food for thought!

    I guarantee if word got out the Courtroom would be packed! And I'd be in the front row.

    I wonder if this would be retroactive? I wonder how much my husband owes me?
  • Jul 10, 2008, 02:30 PM
    NowWhat
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Carmen Jones
    If I were a single woman, perhaps the answers would be different. Married men are usually expected to "pay to play"...nothing is free. I'm not a hooker, but at the end of the day, I want something to show for the intimacy I provide. If I am still in the same situation financially afterwards, is it really worth my time ? Why should he be the only one benefiting from the affair ? Let's keep in mind why I even decided to do this. I like the nice places he takes me and the attention he gives to me, but I want more. He's getting what he wants...why can't I ?


    If you were single - sure the answers would be different. They might not be as pleasant.

    You are married, he's married and you both have innocent spouses at home. Thinking their life is wonderful. Have you given any thought at all of what you are doing to your husband? Are you ready to lose him at any moment? Is it worth it?

    Selfish is the word that keeps coming to mind.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 05:02 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Sexually, he expects certain things from me that his wife should be doing. I think this is a fair argument. I need advice.
    If your going to be a ho, you should get paid. Charge by the hour, not the mile though. Don't forget your husband gets half, that's fair.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 05:06 PM
    N0help4u
    I think he should charge for being her gigolo

    After all that's fair.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 06:04 PM
    ordinaryguy
    I have trouble even believing this post is legit and not a troll. Nevertheless, Carmen Jones, on the outside chance that you really are as crass as you seem, I offer this bit of advice: If you want to get paid for providing sex, you have to learn the business. Freelance amateurs seldom last long enough to make a living at it.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 06:42 PM
    excon
    Hello Carman:

    I think selling sex for money is just fine. I think calling it something else is lying. I'd rather be an honest hooker than any kind of liar.

    excon
  • Jul 10, 2008, 07:02 PM
    Angelmouse227
    Oh My GOD!!

    Honey, I'm really sorry to tell you this, but have you ever heard the old saying "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"? Well, you're the cow. Sex is the milk, and he's been sucking at the teats long enough that if you try to start charging he may just go back out to pasture.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 07:02 PM
    JoeCanada76
    This is a farce. I can not believe what I am reading. Your so full of sh--. I can smell it from my computer. You have a loving husband and your excuse for having an affair is because you want financial support that your not getting. Even if you were single the answers would be no different. Your demanding money for services you're a hooker. Plain and simple.

    Do yourself and your husband a favour if this is actually a legit question. Get a divorce now. End the marriage and go on your marry way.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 08:20 PM
    Alty
    Cut ties with hubby, as a hooker you can make much more money without him holding you down.

    Just when I thought I'd heard it all, along comes a troll that spins this yarn. Jeesh, get a life! :(
  • Jul 10, 2008, 08:55 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Yes... but how is the SEX!!

    (sorry, I got that stuck in my head from a previous thread and now I want to ask it everywhere)
  • Jul 10, 2008, 09:01 PM
    Alty
    The sex is good, the cash is better! :):)

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