I am married for 8 yrs and have 2 sons whom hubby loves a lot.But offlate I am v insecure about my marriage because I am fat and 8 yrs elder to my husband who is handsome.
Now a days I feel v insecure because my husband has never been so lovey dovey with me and now there is new young office colleague who gives him importance and he is v happy about it.They keep exchanging sms and he deletes all the messages.he is a very open book with me so far,but now I feel can this develpo into something major... pl help
Adv me how to make him think and love only me and no body else.. I m v jealous and
Possessive.

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Originally Posted by 2311

i am married for 8 yrs and have 2 sons whom hubby loves a lot.But offlate I am v insecure about my marriage because I am fat and 8 yrs elder to my husband who is handsome.
now a days i feel v insecure because my husband has never been so lovey dovey with me and now there is new young office colleague who gives him importance and he is v happy about it.They keep exchanging sms and he deletes all the messages.he is a very open book with me so far,but now I feel can this develpo into something major....pl help
adv me how to make him think and love only me and no body else..i m v jealous and
possessive.

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Your post makes me sad - well, first of all, you can't make anybody love you - but I wouldn't assume he no longer loves you. Knowing men (with apologies to men everywhere), he may not even have a sense you are worried or concerned. As far as the age difference - younger is not necessarily better. Do you have outside interests, something that makes you unique, different, interesting, something that you like, that feeds your soul (so to speak)?

If your weight makes you insecure then you have to work on that - both on your weight and your insecurities. Work on yourself confidence. You were certainly 8 years older than he was when you got married - you always will be and if it was no problem then it should be no problem now.

Have you told your husband that you are worried about or even jealous of his relationship with his co-worker? I am by no means insecure or jealous but when an employee was hanging all over my husband I told him her behavior - and he was not reciprocating, in fact, he was pretty oblivious - made me uncomfortable. He was flattered that I didn't like another woman draped over him, spoke to her and that was the end of that.

You don't have to be confrontational or accusatory but I think I would tell him of my concerns - he just might be flattered and, again, maybe he doesn't see it's a problem or could lead to something.

Do you get time alone with him, away from the children, maybe for dinner, just for a walk, a drive? Doesn't have to be expensive or fancy, just time alone.

It's easy to become Mom first and a wife second and maybe you have to work on that.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Do you get time alone with him, away from the children, maybe for dinner, just for a walk, a drive? Doesn't have to be expensive or fancy, just time alone.

It's easy to become Mom first and a wife second and maybe you have to work on that.

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Welcome to AMHD. Lots of good observations by Judy, but I like this one the most.

Do everything on your end that will capture his heart and cross your fingers
Often age and maturity mean more to a guy than youth and looks.