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-   -   Fianc?e wants out of relationship after 6 years (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=235376)

  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:21 PM
    egiftedwarrior
    Fiancée wants out of relationship after 6 years
    After living with my fiancée for six years and cought him cheating,I decided to have a separation to think things over and also give him space to decide what he really wants. After six month he asked for one more chance, I accepted but I did not let him move back in. A few weeks later he told me he wanted out of the relationship, but that he will be there for me,and help me with some of the bills. He is still following me around and wants to continue being sexual. He keeps saying that he loves me. That really has me confused, I ask myself how can you love and want out of a relationship.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:22 PM
    starfirefly
    What's the question?
  • Jul 8, 2008, 09:10 PM
    egiftedwarrior
    My question is if he wants out of the relationship, why he still wants to be around.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 09:15 PM
    rockerchick_682
    Your heart and your head are saying different things.

    Some men are pigs. He wants you when he feels like it and to build his self esteem. Forget him, it's his loss.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 09:30 PM
    egiftedwarrior
    I'm really trying to forget him. In order for me to have closure, I really want to know the real reason why all of the sudden he had a change of heart. I put too much of my time in this relationship, because he told me he was sure that he was ready for commitment.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 09:30 PM
    rockerchick_682
    Thanks! I know how it feels when you know for sure that you shouldn't be with someone, but you always go back and make up excuses for them.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 10:46 PM
    JBeaucaire
    It's not confusing at all. He is used to having sex with you. He cheated, further underlining how much more important sex is to him than anything else.

    You moved out, appeared to sort of forgive him, but not letting him back in the house is costing him his free booty, so he's dogging after you to at least get that... after all, sex is more important to him than anything else. Including your feelings. Including your relationship.

    There's nothing confusing here. He's used to you and the booty. But you've already seen what he's going to do, so keep him for a booty call if YOU want, but meanwhile you are looking for a real man now, right? The guy you fell for 6 years ago is long gone, this guy just has the same face.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 10:50 PM
    kenchan
    He doesn't really love you.
  • Jul 9, 2008, 08:41 PM
    rockerchick_682
    It's confusing when you mix emotions with logic, we're human.
  • Jul 9, 2008, 09:20 PM
    N0help4u
    Closure is some new PC idea, the only closure you need is within yourself,
    Realize you deserve better, he is just wanting to string you along for his own self centeredness.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 08:47 AM
    Johnny Knocker
    Yeah he is just using you until he finds something better, I guarantee once he does he'll write you off. Being a guy I hate to say this, and I am not like this at all, but most guys are complete s. They are in it for what they want and can usually care less about the other person.

    If he broke up with you he obviously wants something else, he probably realized he couldn't find it so he's going to string you along until he does and then ditch you like a bad habit.

    It's a bad thing, but it's true. Ive seen it happen to a lot of my girl friends, and Ive seen a bunch of my guy friends do it.

    And to be honest, anybody who can cheat on you doesn't deserve you at all! You deserve much better than that.
  • Jul 10, 2008, 08:58 AM
    progunr
    Isn't the fact, that he's been your "fiance" for six years a bit of a clue for you?

    Everyone that has stated he has been using you is correct.

    I'm sure you've heard it before, "why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free"?

    Let him go, you don't need him, it IS his loss.
  • Jul 11, 2008, 09:08 AM
    helpnow
    I'ts called a penis... he may love you as a person but he is obviously not IN love with you. Of course he is going to try and sleep with you... but don't let him. It is unfortunate that you had to waiste six years with the guy to find out what a douche he is. But at least you found out without marrying him or having kids. So cut your losses and buy a vibrator.
  • Jul 11, 2008, 06:33 PM
    hjpan
    He just wanted to fuq you. End of story.
  • Jul 11, 2008, 07:18 PM
    ylaira
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by egiftedwarrior
    After living with my fiancee for six years and cought him cheating,I decided to have a separation to think things over and also give him space to decide what he really wants. After six month he asked for one more chance, I accepted but I did not let him move back in. A few weeks later he told me he wanted out of the relationship, but that he will be there for me,and help me with some of the bills. He is still following me around and wants to continue being sexual. he keeps saying that he loves me. That really has me confused, I ask myself how can you love and want out of a relationship.


    Believe only that you are loved if there's a RESPECT and LOVING ACTS that comes after sweet words.I couldn't agree more with the rest of the posts.

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