Hi~
I am a 28 year old female who met a 25 year old guy recently. We hit it off right away, he asked me out and we had a fabulous first date. I ended up asking him out after a week or so on a 2nd date (since he wasn't) he said yes, and it could not have gone better. I have initiated most of the flirty text messages we have shared and he responds very positively towards them. I am fully confident that if I was to ask him out again that he would say yes and we would have a blast together. The problem is that he is not pursuing me... I am pursuing him. Should I just stop asking him out and wait for him to call me? I like to go after what I want. What should I do?

Yes.Stop asking him out. Ur just new. Its his job to ask out. He already knows that u like him, if he likes you he'l initiate. U want to be seriously taken? Leave a lil mystery, dont be too much available and quit chasin him.

Poppycock (no disrespect intended, ylaira, but poppycock).

Do NOT start playing "oh what are the rules" games now. Things are going great. Change the path you're on at your own peril. SO WHAT if you're asking him out. If you want to bring it up with him on your next date, do so. But do it playfully! Do it wittily. Don't you dare belittle this guy who is so much fun. How do you think he'll take THAT!

It is rare for a guy to be chased in the early stages of a relationship. Your interest in him and willingness to do the asking is a treat to him. OR, he really does follow the leader... either way you are already doing the right thing in this guy. Don't mess it up by trying to slot him into some "role" you think all guys belong in.

Enjoy your relationship. Have fun. Do the asking, remind him it's his turn soon, but make it a playful comment, not a reprimand.

Whatever you do, however you do it, stay in the "fun car."

But isn't the bottom line that if a guy is "into" you then he will call? He is not a shy person so I know that's not it.

Yeah, you should wait till he calls u for a date. Otherwise, u'll end up losing him

He shouldn't have to ask you out, and if he's responding well to your advances there's no real need. But I can understand that you might be a little hurt having to initiate everything.

Keep contacting him, but if you want you could wait a while before you try to meet up with him again. See if he organises a date instead. Just to test the water and see where you stand.

If he doesn't, maybe he['s shyer than you thought. Or maybe he's just not quite as keen as you. But JBeaucaire has a point, don't waste such a potentially great chance just because he's a little slow on the uptake.

Kal

I have learned that any guy I am interested in it fizzles out eventually.
As long as he is responding well though I don't think it matters. He just might like a woman that knows what she wants.
You could try asking him something like "I really enjoy being with you and I hope you enjoy our time together as much as I do'' and see how he replies to that.

If he starts backing off, making excuses for not going out and things like that maybe start to back off and let him make the next call. As long as things are going good I wouldn't worry too much about who is calling who. You could possibly try skipping a day that he would normally expect you to call and see if he calls and asks what happened that you didn't.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by scarscar

But isn't the bottom line that if a guy is "into" you then he will call? He is not a shy person so I know that's not it.

---

OK, I gave it my best shot. Try it your way. After your next date tell him it's his turn and you're looking forward to his asking you out next. Then wait.

It sounds like you kind of want him to pursue you... give him a chance to do so, it is a nice feeling having someone else initiate things and it sounds like you miss that. So backing off slightly doesn't have to be any sort of 'mind-game'- it just helps you both regain perspective a little -
I have scared off people in the past by coming on too strong... each situation/person is different so just play it by ear and trust your intuition... if you're asking about backing off on here, then you probably should! Just for a little while!

If he already initiated few dates then its safe to ask out next time coz ur sure he's genuinely interested not just being nice.