A week ago my boyfriend died unexpectedly at his home. Its been really really hard because we were so close. We spent almost every day together and did everything together. I was the one who had found him dead as well. To be quite honest, I have no clue how I've gotten out of bed every morning and kept living. He was so young, not sick and certainly not suicial. The wake and funeral was pushed back for a bit due to the 4th of July holiday and at first I thought it would be terrible because it was so long away. It turned out to be okay because we had something to do. Now that the wake and funeral is over, I am completely lost. I am so heartbroken and it is so hard to function normally. Everything I do, I think of him because we've done it together or was going to do it.

I know its only been a week. But it still makes me wonder, if it hurts this much now, how will it ever get better?

Yes, but not fast and not easy. I have had two wives pass away and at times even after over 10 and 15 years I can still hear a special song or see something that reminds me of them and I can still be slightly sad, but as time goes on, you should be able to start moving on with your life. Sometimes working on a memorial, a fund raiser for something that was special for them, something to get life moving but doing it for them also

I am not going to tell you it gets better because I have been dealing with the same pain you are feeling now. I lost my fiancée in Jan. unexpectantley. She was with me one day and gone the next. She passed away due to a blood clot in her brain and I have been lost every since.
Some days are better than others, but the pain is always there. The moments and memories of the person you have lost is easily triggered. There are many moments when I just breakdown due to a thought or a thought of being lonely.

I too, spent every free moment with her and now that this gone, I feel so lost. I just know, that God has a bigger plan for her and that is the peace I have to focus on. I feel that our pain will never go away, because the person we have lost is part of the reason we are the way we are. I just thank God everyday that I had her in my life and I know that someday we will understand the reasons for all and we will be reunited again.

I know this seems like it will never happen and I often feel that way, but our minutes,days and years are but just a breath from God. We just have to keep going through life and keep all of memories and love for the person that has taken the step to God.

She always told me that God would never put too much on our plates that we can't handle and remembering her saying that with her huge smile, brings me peace and I pray that you have this inner peace also.