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-   -   I'm 17 and I'm with a girl who is 15 we both want to get married but we don't knowto do. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=235123)

  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:03 AM
    Cherokee333
    Im 17 and I'm with a girl who is 15 we both want to get married but we don't knowto do.
    Is there a way around this consider that I live in the state of Georgia.What are the laws on this and are there ways around them.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:04 AM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    Can I ask you why you want to get married at 17? You haven't even entered into your 20s yet.

    You may not feel the same way about her in 10 years because if you've heard, people normally change in their 20s.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:12 AM
    Cherokee333
    I feel a great amount of feelings for her but the whole thing was her idea we've been together for a year and well we match so perfect.I really want this although I do understand that I am young but that doesn't change the way I feel for her and we have talked about this many times. She doesn't have much of a relationship with her parents and she is afraid to ask for consent.I will wait for her she means a lot to me.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:16 AM
    N0help4u
    You will have to wait until she is 16.
    Georgia changed the laws in 2006 concerning the minimum age to get married and the minimum age to get married in Georgia is 16. Most Georgia county websites are stating that in order to apply for a marriage license, both of you have to be 18 years of age. Some of the county websites are stating that if either of you are 16 or 17 years of age, both parents (either biological or adoptive) or legal guardians must give their consent to your marriage in person and provide a certifified copy of your birth certificate along with valid identification. In some counties, a probate judge also has to approve the marriage license application of individuals who are 16 or 17 years old. Anyone under the age of 16 cannot obtain a marriage license in Georgia.

    Applying for a Marriage License in Georgia -- How to Get Married in Georgia

    Unless the law changed you have to have both her parents approval.
    18 no parental approval.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:17 AM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    I don't believe that you can really know someone after a year. It takes time. Will she be the same next year and the year after? You don't know. What you like now might change drastically into something you hate later. I'm not trying to scare you but I want you to think about it. Wait until she at least turns 18 to marry her. She won't have to worry about parental consent, hopefully you both will have a stable job and a place to live in. Plus if you wait until she's 18 then you would have known her for four years and she might not be the same person at 18.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:22 AM
    ScottGem
    Georgia law requires that both the bride and groom be 16. Between 16 and 18 they must obtain parental consent. So it looks like you can forget it unless your parents and her parents agree.

    And this is a good thing. I know you feel strongly about her, but it sounds to me like she has an unhappy home life and is just looking to get out of it. So she thinks marrying you is her way out. This is NOT a good basis for a marriage.

    If you do feel about her as stroingly as you say, then those feelings will continue over time. But the likelihood is that they will fade. In another year you will go off to college or start working full time. Your experiences and interests will change. You may may find your feelings remain or they may change.

    You would be VERY foolish to make a legal commitment at this stage in your lives.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:22 AM
    N0help4u
    Yeah you really need to talk long term on a lot of things like where you want to live, careers, how many children, things you might conflict on, things you will not compromise, things you feel you can compromise on. It isn't an ideal relationship when some years go by and you want to live in Atlanta and she decides she wants to live in Savannah, she wants 4 kids and you don't want more than 2. She loves cats and you hate them. If you can't work little things out the big problems that come along could be even harder to work out.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:24 AM
    Cherokee333
    I want to do this right but that's a long time to wait I feel strong about this and I know how crazy it is I thank you for your advice but is it possible to do this and what is the age that both me and her have to be.if we get consent can we do it now. If not what can we do
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:26 AM
    tolerance
    I agree with the post above, if you love her why can't you at least wait until she turns 18. Then see how the relationship is going. Can you even support her, financially, if too get married now? Are your planning on having kids, can you support them? Where would your live?

    Just wait because you both are young, especially her. She's only 15, I hope your not having sex because you might could get in trouble. Just wait and if your are together once she 18, then great, maybe your can plan on getting married then.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:30 AM
    Cherokee333
    We both agree on one kid, we want to live in atlanta, I do live in atlanta.Also she wants to be a nurse while I agreed not to go to the army but instead become a swat agent.that way I can be there with her.I asked her if she want me so she can escape her family she said it love she wants to build a better relationship with them but at the same time she wants me to come into her life.I would like to but I admit I am scared but I want this.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:31 AM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cherokee333
    if we get consent can we do it now. if not what can we do

    When she turns 16 by then you will be going on or be 18. With parents consent
    When she turns 18 by then you will be going on 20. N0 parental consent
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:32 AM
    Cherokee333
    We are not active we are responsible but scared we talk about everything and we agree if not we compromise we want this.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 10:00 AM
    ScottGem
    As NoHelp said, you have to wait until she is at least 16. If you are over 18 at that point, then you will need to get her parents consent. Otherwise you will need both your parent's consent.

    While it sounds like you have talked this out a great deal, I think its more two kids daydreaming about the future. Ok, she wants to be a nurse. That means YEARS of education. Besides finishing high school there will be 4 years of college anf a few more years of nursing school. You want to be a SWAT agent. That means getting your HS diploma, applying for and being accepted into the Atlanta Police Academy then doing several years of patrol work before you can be accepted into the SWAT unit.

    I still think she's using you to get away from her parents and that's uppermost in her mind. Obviously you aren't going to listen to the many older and wiser heads here telling you to wait. Note, we aren't telling you to break it off with her, just to go about growing up first, before you give up your young adulthood. And I'm not even going into what will happen if a baby gets in the way.

    But you both need to have jobs before you even beging to contemplate setting up house. Do you have any idea what that is going to cost you? First and last months rent plus a security deposit, furnishings etc. I would venture to guess that, in Atlanta, you will probably need at least $5-$6K to setup living quarters. Do you have that saved?

    I wish you luck, because you are going to really need it. But frankly I don't have much hope for a lasting marriage at this point.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 06:47 PM
    krissyg2991
    I feel like I'm a person that is sort of in your shoes-I'm 17, my boyfriend is almost 18 and we've been together 3 years. As much as I love him and as much as we've planned our future together, I still do not feel that we are by any means ready for such a commitment to one another. We, like you, have discussed college and career plans, children, even finances, for our future but that doesn't mean we're ready. We still have our trying times and we have to learn to work through them, but I'd rather not be legally and spiritually bound to him if we find that we don't work so well as I thought sometime between now and then. It is estimated that it takes a year for the initial infatuation to wear off, so I doubt that you guys have had any real tests of your relationship. Plus, if she is using marriage as an escape from her family, you may really want to rethink your hurry for this issue. She may be too anxious to get away from home to be really considering this-marriage is for life. Or at least it's supposed to be. Divorce is a nasty affair, and quite personally, I'd rather avoid it at all costs. Hang out a bit longer. If you love her as much as you claim, your marital status won't matter as long as you're together. Why the hurry, you guys are young, you've got NOTHING but time.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 07:02 PM
    ylaira
    Do u already have a stable yet good paying job and enough savings? All of us here have been 17 and we understand the emotion is really overwhelming. Both of you are still growing. Its good to enjoy being single, learn from growing pains, be matured enough before settling down. Dont be so in a rush. Learn from other people's experience and dont be so stubborn.
  • Jul 9, 2008, 09:02 AM
    Cherokee333
    I do have a stable job

    I don't know what to do

    By the way I am a officer now I work in a office though.
  • Jul 9, 2008, 09:58 AM
    talaniman
    You can marry her next year, from what others have said, and divorce soon after, just as easy. You two may be planning things but be real. What's the hurry to make a mistake just because you feel good now?

    Right now there is no pressure on you to succeed, or even feed someone beside yourself, or pay rent, or buy her a tooth brush. In the real world, all that changes especially after your married, and trying to pay rent on YOUR paycheck, because she is pregnant, and can't work, and her back hurts, and she is miserable.

    Have you talked about that side of marriage, when your making all those plans to live and love??
  • Jul 9, 2008, 10:17 AM
    milagros6670
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cherokee333
    Is there a way around this consider that i live in the state of georgia.What are the laws on this and are there ways around them.

    Listen in the state of Georgia you can't get married unless your 17 so there's no way... a girl I knew got married at 13 to a 22 yr old in gorgia about 2 yrs ago a month after they changed the law so that would never happen again... I have called the register of deeds office in Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Nevada in all of these places you have to be at least 16 with parents permision unless your pregnant... im in the same situation I wish you the best of luck but you may have to wait...
  • Jul 9, 2008, 10:22 AM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by milagros6670
    in all of these places u have to be atleast 16 with parents permision unless ur pregnant..............

    True NOT a good option AND at 15 hasn't reached the age of consent yet so he could be put in jail for being with a minor and have the pedophile laws follow him for life.
  • Jul 9, 2008, 10:50 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cherokee333
    I do have a stable job

    i dont know what to do

    by the way i am a officer now i work in a office though.

    {Merged 3 posts-<>}

    You are 17 and working as a police officer? According to my research, you have to be 21 with a HS Diploma to be appointed as a police officer in GA.

    You came here asking for advice and have gotten some very good advice. That advice is to wait. Explain to your girl that you do love her, but you are too young to legally get married without parental permission. Tell her you also feel that you you are both too young emotionally and not ready financially to get married now. Tell her that you aren't abandoning her but that when she turns 18, you will both be more mature and be better equpped financially and emotionally to get married.

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