Today was a VERY interesting day. I saw my ex-b/f who I had not heard from or seen in SIX MONTHS!!!!!!!! I prepared myself for the day I would see him again. I was ready. I looked fabulous and fierce. Everything from the hair down to the shoes was in place and on point. I could see him out of the corner of my eye looking speechless. After 20 minutes of sitting back and sipping my smoothie. I eventually decided I was going to talk to him, very bold move. I thought he was going to run away or not want to talk but things were cordial.

I apologized for some of my actions (although he did not). He was just staring at me and smiling. I asked how his birthday was (I sent him a card and cd in early May and I got no thank you), but when I brought it up today he said thank you ( I think that was fake). Anyway, during our whole conversation his eyes never moved away from me the entire time we spoke (that made me feel really good). We just had a little chit-chat. There was a lot of smiling. As of now I am on summer break from college and he lives in the city where I go to school ( which I visited over the holiday weekend).

I was hoping that he was going to ask me to call him sometime or to give him my number again but he didn't do that. In fact, had I not walked over to him I am sure he wouldn't have said anything to me. I teased him and asked if he was engaged yet. He responded with have you ever known me to be the marrying type? He went on to further say why don't you just ask me if I have a new girl friend (I just looked and moved on, I did not ask him).

I really wanted to have his number again but no information was exchanged. Should I just assume he isn't interested because he didn't volunteer his new number or do I need to give it some time and see where things go? I honestly do want to get back with him but I hear he may be dating someone but I am not sure if that is true or a false.

What next?

I'm not a big fan of game playing, but personally I think I would've given subtle hints to imply that you were dating and doing great, instead of trying to get info from him. You might have looked at your watch, and said something like, oh... I'm going to have to go, I'm late for a date. He didn't have to know what kind of a date. It could've been a date to have lunch with a girlfrend for all he would know.

Nothing gets a guys attention, like hearing that you are doing great! Not just looking great, but getting on with things and not missing him like he may think you should. I wouldn't read too much into it for now. If you should happen to run into him again, don't try and get info to find out if he is involved with someone else. Tell him about important things that have been going on in your life, and leave it at that. I'm sure if he wants your number, he will be able to find it again somehow.

The best way to get a man's attention, is living well and being confident in yourself! Good Luck! :)

I wouldn't read too much into him looking you up and down. I'm sure you looked great, but he didn't ask if he could call,

Interesting point. Let me clarify though, I was not trying to "get information out of his life" I was merely teasing him about the situation. I asked nothing personal nor did I ask ARE you dating someone? Also, my ex is VERY prideful so because of our situation it did not surprise me he didn't ask to call.

I actually think you handled the situation pretty well... considering! He didn't see you looking pathetic, and crying into your smoothie at least. I would just make myself look oblivious, the next time you see him, if you know what I mean. Make it look like... oh heyyy... I didn't notice you were here! How are you doing? I'm in a bit of a hurry, but we can maybe chat sometime if you'd like. Then just make your exit! He'll find someway to let you know if he's still interested... if he is.

It seems as a casual enough conversation that caught him off guard. He was unprepared for you to be the bigger person and go and talk to him. He was probably expecting you to take off running for the hills. All you can do is give it time and hope for the best.

Would it have been inappropriate for me to say, "Call me sometime"?

It can't hurt to casualy mention that he can call you anytime if he needs a friend, or wants to grab a cup of coffee. If he doesn't call you, you are best to leave it alone. He didn't respond or call to thank you for the gift you sent, so chances are he may not call you either. You've got really nothing to lose by telling him he can call, but like I said, after that if he doesn't, you will just have to accept that the relationship is over.

Very true...

I don't remember who broke up with who, but if he ended things with you, do you really want to keep this thing going?

I agree, it seems to me that at this point he is not interested in having contact with you. So you telling him he can call won't harm the situation if he already doesn't want to talk to you, and would make him more comfortable about calling you if he does. If he doesn't- you get the closure you need to accept you need to move on and let go of false hope.

I also want to clarify again... I do not have hopes of anything. I was just trying to understand where this guys thought process is. Despite the fact that we are DUNZO, I still love him.

Hi AmExp
I think you handled yourself very well from what you have shared with us , however if he really wanted to get back with you he would have at least hinted at it somehow , or even tried to contact you prior to you meeting like that.
And if he does feel something different after your meeting he will contact you. Don't go chasing him and lose some of your dignity , even if he doesn't want to get back with you he would love you to chase him to boost his ego.

Don't get stuck with false hope , you've already done the majority of your suffering. Don't go back to square one.

Thank you. I mean I shouldn't want to get involved in that again and in many ways I do not simply because of how the relationship ended last time. But, how do you stop loving someone? That is very difficult for me to let someone go whom I love a lot.

Time... you just need to be patient.

And believe me , when you meet your next boyfriend , there could even be more than one , you'll look back at this and think what the hell was I doing pining over so and so.

You sound like your doing well , so just don't go backwards.

Good luck! :)

Thank you. I am certainly going to try. I don't want regression but it is so hard.

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Originally Posted by AmExp

Thank you. I am certainly going to try. I don't want regression but it is so hard.

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My pleasure
Its never easy I know , you just have to make sure you've learnt something from this and use it in the coming years.

I have but the sick thing is... deep down I kind of do want a relationship with him again... I just want it to be on a different level.

What YOU want he obviously can't or won't deliver. Don't waste your time or energy on something that probably won't happen.

Move on , and then you will find someone who will. You've probably heard the saying " When one door shuts another one opens" Well you have to let this door shut first.

True... but I just wanted to be in a situation where he saw me and just thought... DAMN, I had that. What was I thinking... I want him to be miserable the way he made me feel... I hate the fact that he looks as thought he is doing well.

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Originally Posted by AmExp

True...but I just wanted to be in a situation where he saw me and just thought....DAMN, I had that. What was I thinking...I want him to be miserable the way he made me feel...I hate the fact that he looks as thought he is doing well.

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It's perfectly normal to feel this way , but think about it , where does it get you?? Answer: It gets you nowhere and just makes you feel worse.

Believe me he would have felt awkward , and he would have gone away thinking how good you looked and how well you had held up.

Look
Bottom line is it doesn't matter what he thinks , what he does etc. It's totally out of your control.
It's all about you. Your number 1 so start treating yourself as that. Only you can do it.
And then sometime down the line if its meant to be it will.