My girlfriend and I have discussed on many occasions unprotected sex and how we wanted to be sure we're... ok before commencing. Since this poor decision-making, I have since gotten tested, and as I suspected, they came back normal. I, during intercourse, made a bad decision to allow us to have unprotected sex. She was facing away from me, and when removing condom #1, we continued without protection. She immediately noticed (of course) and I then put a condom on. I realize it was my responsibility to stop the progress, and didn't. She and I haven't been the same since. She places the blame totally on me, and I accept responsibility. She now wants me to "fix" it between us, and hasn't shown me much interest because I don't know how to "undo" what's been done. I feel horrible that I betrayed her trust, but she's making it very difficult to "fix it" by almost completely changing the way she talks to me. Conversations have been short, and it seems like she doesn't want to see me until I come up with a "miracle cure". She does still show the occasional sign of interest, but I think she is waiting for me to fix it. Do you have any idea what it is I'm supposed to fix, and how? I realize I'm a complete man here, but I need some serious help. I want to marry this girl, and feel a million miles away from her. I need help in a bad way.:confused:

Fix what, is she pregnant?

Firstly, it's not only your responsibility to take care of birth control, she should go on the pill or find other forms of contraception, a condom should always be used, with another form of birth control as well.

Secondly, sex=babies, even with protection there is the chance of pregnancy and an std, no form of birth control is 100%.

Thirdly, why do you want to have unprotected sex, are you ready for a child, a commitment to each other and everything that goes with it.

Bottom line, if you're having sex, protected or unprotected, there is a risk, maybe it's time to talk about what you both want for your future.

Good luck.

*YOU* made an **ultimate betrayal**, dude. Frankly, I would have dumped you, and so should she, but that's neither here nor there. Perhaps, if you spend a lot of money on the woman, she will thaw out, but she shouldn't! :)

Can't fix what's been done here. She is the one that's going to be stuck with the results of your unwillingness to do what you should have done even after you are just a bad memory.

I'd recommend you finding a crack ho if you wish to continue this behaviour in the future. For a few extra bucks they don't care if you use protection or not.

Fact is you may THINK you want to marry her but the fact remains if you really respected her you would not have done this.

Trust can be rebuilt... sometimes. Not always, and its never easy.

... wow. That's a new one. I've heard guys ask questions about what to do because their girl's pregnant... but never had a question about the "sneak attack"...

I'm not so sure this is fixable. You really betrayed her trust... and you may have to do something to make up for this and somehow make her believe that you will never betray her trust (and follow up with it... ).

What would have happened if she got pregnant?

I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest that while your being a man in no way excuses you, you did make a mistake and own up to it and regret it. I applaud you for trying to "fix" it, though I'm not sure what exactly she wants you to do about it.

The reality is, it was your "fault", as you discussed and agreed to always use a condom, and she thoroughly expected you to, so I'm NOT going to say that in this case, she should have made sure before letting you keep going. She had every reason to expect you had done what you said.

So, fast forward, damage is done. You made a mistake. You admitted it and apologized, and seemingly are truly very sorry it happened and have heightened your efforts to ensure it won't happen again. You are allowed to be human, but it's up to her whether to accept what you did and your attempts to make it right or not.

My advice is to ask her to tell you what she wants you to do to fix it. You can't read minds, and you will do whatever it takes to make it right and have her trust you again, even if it takes a while to regain that trust. So ask her what SHE needs to accept it and move on, and then decide whether you are willing to do it or would rather move on. As a side note, if she gives you that "if you loved/cared about me you'd know how to fix it" crap, don't freak out, as that is BS. What she asked of you in terms of using protection was not absurd, but asking you to read her mind is. See if you can get a straight answer out of her, and take it from there. Good luck.