I have posted about this guy a few times on here and have always received really good feedback that has helped so I am back again !
My previous posts explain what has been happening with a guy I have been on/off with for months now. We began seeing each other again back in May and agreed that we would take it easy and be relaxed about the whole thing (he has been hurt badly in the past). Sometimes, however, more than a week will go by without any contact from him and I then take it as 'he isn't that interested' and get all worked up with it.

However, when I saw him last night he says that he thinks I am crap at communicating and he feels that I sometimes blank him, and he often thinks that its me who isn't that interested in him. He is always very complimentary towards me and he was being more affectionate last night as we haven't see each other for over a week.

Now I am thinking that he could be right but I too have been hurt in the past by him and others so don't tend to wear my heart on my sleeve nor communicate how I am feeling much so tend to hold back (apart from to my female friends). I am feeling a bit confused and have vowed to communicate better with him, perhaps initiating it a little more so he knows that I am interested and like him very much, but I don't want to over do it and make it look like I am overpowering and hounding him. Any ideas for some balance ?

The balance has to come from within. Either you are in it or your not? If you are in it, be in it and trust. If not leave him alone. What is happening here is a "game" of sorts. Neither wants to be the one to be hurt so you play the game. You put yourself out there when he does, you hold back when you think you are going to be hurt, so he puts the blame on you, etc etc. This can truly go on forever, but the bottom line is you are more concerned with holding out and protecting yourself then just living. That is part of what being in a relationship is about. TRUST. If you don't have it move on.

He based his conclusion that you were a bad communicator on what exactly?

I'd be careful here. It seems odd that a guy can go a week without talking to a girl he's supposedly interested in and then blame HER for the week apart. REALLY ODD. There may be some manipulation going on here.

He might not be that interested after all, or perhaps just doesn't want to bother coming after you. Some guys prefer to be chased. The bad part - this has nothing to do with compatibility, some guys just like to be chased. It doesn't matter if you two are a good match or not, he may just like being chased.

That may be a bad thing. Guys are supposed to be more "hunter/gatherer" minded. If he's a "sit back and let it come to me" kind of guy, that put's a lot of unnatural pressure on YOU to keep things going.

Make sure you're OK holding up BOTH ends of the relationship with this guy. If that's his idea of communication, I'm not sure I buy it.

Well I think he bases this conclusion on the fact that I take a while to get back to him when he contacts me and this week it was based on the fact that I failed to show for lunch and was unable to l let him know. He seemed to panic and when I read my messages at the end of the day he had sent three asking where I was and if I was still coming and then finally, why I didn't show. It was too late to reply as it was gone seven in the evening and was not much point. He then called me and asked 'did you enjoy your lunch'? Sarcastic!! So I suppose he only chases me when absolutely necessary and yes he is the 'sit back' type for sure !

You both are to blame for the lack of communications, and attention to one another. Either work together on it, or quite wasting each other time.

Yeah, he's right. Not letting someone know AHEAD of time you aren't coming to a planned date, and then shrugging it off after the fact as "what's the point"... he's right. Completely right. You have absolutely no leg to stand on for this one.

Sounds like you're rationaizing, too. Really not a good sign. It takes a lot of moxy to do what you did and think "oh well"... it really does.

So, if you're starting to think "he's right about my lack of communication"... then you're right. He's right.

I guess you answered your own question "he says its my fault, but I'm unsure." If anything you're part the blame and at least he's telling you what you need to work on in order for the relationship to work.

You need to have better communication because its not fair to him to make plans and don't stick with it or at least call. I hope you learned from this and don't repeat this mistake in the future.

I understand you been hurt it the past and maybe you've a barrier up, but you've to let it down sometime, at least if you want your next relationship to work and stay strong. Communication plays a big role and is a main component of a relationship, you have to open up something so your partner can know how you feel instead of guessing. If you find it hard to voice how you feel then, get a thinking of you card and write how you feel and give it to him, I bet he would not only be shock, but enjoy it.

This time around you and him should know what your need to work on, since you already have an history, otherwise it will come to an end with no going back. Then you might repeat the same mistake in your next relationship. You need to meet him half way, since at least he trying, but you need to too. Try to be more open with communication and see what happens. Best of luck and your both need to be more respectful towards each other feelings.