Ok he is a 22 year old male... perhaps its just the norm to be sexually obbessed?

Basically he likes it everyday, but he says it relaxes him and its more of a relief than pleasure, although he does get pleasure from it as well. But he says things to me like can we have sex tonight, or I shall or to relieve myself before I can enjoy your company. I am a very cuddly soft girl and he says he needs sex before he can relax and enjoy a snuggle. My mates say this is blackmail. Is it? I mean we do love each other so I am sure even if he did not say such words we would still obviously be having sex. It is just the way he phrases it that makes me think.

He is also very eager to talk about it all the time, and always seems to be horny. It does annoy me, but it does not put me off him, its just him and I do love him, sometimes I just find it hard to talk so much about it, as I am not as interested as he is?

I have a book you may want to read, it talks about how the human Brain changes, and how we can be brain washed into thinking we need sex, even though we clearly do not. I used to be just like your guy, same age time to, I'm 23 now, but a year or two ago, with my first girl friend, whom left me (for many reasons, but mostly because I was depressed back then.), I used to say the same things. She was never really interested and I was always interested. I've learned a little self control goes a long long way.

Any way back to this book, it explains how some people become addicted to sex, because of the "feeling" they get, when really they are addicted to the dopamine their brain secreets. It may develop into something serious, if he doesn't be careful. Does he (I know this is supper personal and all but I asure you I have good scinetific reasoning behind it.) Look at a lot of porn? If you see this book you will know why I ask this. Just look at pages 93 (chapter 4Acquiring Tastes and Loves.) to 131. Very in depth detail as to what may be happening to your guy. Tho he may not realise it, he may even try to push you away if you try to show him. Then again he may just be horny due to the primal urge to mate and have offspring. But I Highly recommend you look at that book. I wish I could explain it be it's long and complicated, well not really that complex, but it is very detailed.

Peace be with you.

Thanks for getting back to me. He does watch porn, not with me, on his own, he only has one video and I doubt its anything too dodgy. He says I am satisfying him more though now so does not need to watch it as much. I doubt he would ever see an addiction, so I guess I need to decided whether I can cope with it, or whether its too much for me!

He is trying to manipulate you... manipulating is the opposite of loving(not hate). He may want you to be a *prop* in his sex scenario.

CHOUX, We, don't know if he is or is not "trying" to manipulate any one. He may not even be aware of what he is doing.

At least try talking to him about it, let him make his chioce, then make yours, that way it's a little more informed.

Peace be with you.

He's 22, like you said. Still a boy that lets the little head do the thinking for the big head.

He will outgrow that eventually. Most guys do.

Nest, you make your comments, I'll make mine; don't comment on my comments, please. :)

Apparently, you never had a lot of young guys trying to get into your pants-- I did many long years ago... they are animals. :D

Young and dumb is still dumb... and manipulation takes many forms... sexual aggression by a mate when wanted is desirable... when its not wanted, its pestering, manipulating, etc. so... I agree with both choux and nest... there is a broad range of actions that fall under "manipulation"... if I do all the things that I know my partner loves and responds well to, I am manipulating her to some degree to get what I desire... she's just receptive to my suggestions.

Anyway, in this case, the boy needs to become a man. And some men aren't men. Its easy to play the martyr, and sure... his drive is probably through the roof. Its not that way for all young men... read the boards here and you'll see some who have absolutely no drive.

But at some point you both need to find some middle ground. My drive is usually higher than my partners. At times it is a real distraction.

There are times in a relationship where you talk it out, try to appease while keeping your footing and your desires intact... and then if it doesn't work out, you then decide to change the situation or accept the situation as what you get. If you can't find middle ground and you stay, you choose it can cannot complain. For ex, my partner just is not responsive hardly ever at one of my prime times for increased libido. She's too tired from the day most of the time. We has issues with this, talked it out, and at some point I had to either decide this was a fight worth having all the time, or to change my thinking. In the end, I had to realize that it wasn't about neglect... it was about her being unable to engage. Sure, she might be able to help me out, but I wasn't looking for a quick fix. I was looking for an enchange of attention and affection. So... here, I had to do all the work. I had to accept it or make it an issue.

Time to talk it out with him and let him know that sulking and pestering isn't attractive. If your drive is that far off from his, then you just might care for a man that you are incompatible with sexually if you both can't find some compromise.

His curiosity and desire isn't a bad thing. And I do agree you can experience that "pressure" or "anxiousness" about sex... I've felt that myself... but again, you have to learn to deal with it and channel it.

Perhaps its time to give him permission to go be a "problem solver" in the bathroom. Then see if he is able to be with you without driving you mad.

Demanding sex before he can be next to you is complete ignorance of what often turns a woman's affection into intimate attention.

Were I not willing to be next to my partner and build sexual tension through intimate touch... and this means tracing her hands with my fingers or running my hands through her hair, not groping or mashing... shed be exactly where you are.

He needs to understand your perspective and he needs to stop using sex and the only way he can feel good around you. Yes... it can be maddening when your libido is raging and the partner isn't interested... not a good long term situation... but c'mon... I can't cuddle unless I have an orgasm first?

My partner would show me where the handtowels are kept and tell me to enjoy my date with my hand.