Ask Me Help Desk - Losing interest

I am a 34 yr. old female. I have had the same group of friends now for years. We get together for parties. Our children play together. We all play on a co-ed softball team together. We have lived in this town for over 20 years, and everyone knows everyone else's business. I am a very private person, and would go as far as to say that I am an introvert. I am social, and love to hang out and throw parties, but I would rather be by myself. The older I get, the more I lose interest in my friends. I am even thinking about moving an hour away just to get away from it all. Here lately it seems my friends have petty conversations and are always trying to compete and keep up with the Jone's family. When I talk, someone always interupts. I would rather have a deep discussion about life than what I bought the other day. My friends call and I don't call them back. I am just tired of hearing all about them, and talking about senseless and meaningless issues. When I finally see them, they ask why I am being such a hermit. I am worried I am being a bad friend, but I can't help the way I feel. Any input would be helpful.

Is it possible that you could be suffering from depression? Has anything happened in your life recently that was different from the norm?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shana1919

I am a 34 yr. old female. I have had the same group of friends now for years. We get together for parties. Our children play together. We all play on a co-ed softball team together. We have lived in this town for over 20 years, and everyone knows everyone else's business. I am a very private person, and would go as far as to say that I am an introvert. I am social, and love to hang out and throw parties, but I would rather be by myself. The older I get, the more I lose interest in my friends. I am even thinking about moving an hour away just to get away from it all. Here lately it seems my friends have petty conversations and are always trying to compete and keep up with the Jone's family. When I talk, someone always interupts. I would rather have a deep discussion about life than what I bought the other day. My friends call and I don't call them back. I am just tired of hearing all about them, and talking about senseless and meaningless issues. When I finally see them, they ask why I am being such a hermit. I am worried I am being a bad friend, but I can't help the way I feel. Any input would be helpful.

Yes, depression is a definite consideration, however; perhaps you are growing out of that stage of life, now you are feeling more like a grownup, and desire more intellectual stimulation, you know what they say, "if you don't use it, you loose it."

Recently I've bin reading a book called, "the brain that changes it's self" It's a self help book, of sorts, that delves into the mind and how it is linked to our thoughts, and our bodily functions. Any way, if you want to start more intellectual conversations, may I sugest trying right here on the net, just try not to let it take hold of your whole life. Still chat with your friends and see what the newest gossip is, but rather then looking at your friends like they are immature or pathetic. (I'm not saying you are, but I did this once upon atime, very foolish of me too do so I may add. Arrogance, and pride are bad.) Try to understand that they are just board with life so they need to start some kind of drama for entertainment, and so they can feel like they are still apart of the world. Every one seems to need something to identify with, I try myself not to, but it's hard to not identify with something when every one lables you. A good way to let a labe stand for nothing, is to simply let the people say you are, for example, "a hermit" Then you reply is that so? Then you neither ignore it, nor accept it. Because in reality, we are not one thing or another, "we are everything and we are nothing." YOu may want to try looking up, Yoga (meditation, and great stress relever.), Kung fu (for philosophy, less you are like me and want to train in it's martial arts as well as it's philosophys.), and also read lots. Can't really go wrong with that eh?

Well, if you ever want to talk about Psychology, Philosophy, Neuropsychology, worldly events, try finding a chat room or thread for that king of thing. If you happen upon anything interesting, please let me know. Facinating stuff.

Peace be with you.

Sounds to me like you are getting no pleasure out of your life and sinking into a depression. Can you go to your physician and have a talk about this and get a referral to a therapist, if needed?

I think you have been counting on others to give your life structure and meaning, and now that system is failing you. Time is passing and you are not happy with the life others have given you. You have to make a life for yourself; that is not an easy task, necessarily, but what each individual must do in order to be a whole person with integrity.

You have plenty of time to work out this situation... moving away is no answer... as they say in 12 Step Programs... you are thinking a geography cure will solve your internal problems.

Cheer up, many, many women have gone before you down this path and made meaningful and happy lives for themselves. :)