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-   -   The Single Years (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=234642)

  • Jul 7, 2008, 04:45 AM
    redrose24
    The Single Years
    I'm just curious whether other people feel the same as I do about this... As a student in college, a lot of my time is spent studying, napping, working, trying to fit in friends as much as possible.. and that's really it. Worrying about a relationship? Mmm not so much. I have now convinced myself that I do not need to worry about a relationship until I have graduated from college and have found a stable job for myself. In other words... not until I've started my life. I really don't think it would be bad to wait until I'm at least in my late 20's... I want to move... travel... experience the world... without the extra stress of a relationship!
  • Jul 7, 2008, 05:57 AM
    N0help4u
    I agree very much. All too often I see people crying over he wants to move to Georgia because of job opportunities and I want to move to California to pursue my career. Or I want to go to college and he wants to join the military. So personally I think it is usually better to hang out with friends for social life until you get your life established and someone work into your lifestyle than falling in love and having to break up to move on.
  • Jul 7, 2008, 07:51 PM
    mimi03
    I had the same thought process and think it's definetely rational and reasonable!

    But along came my boyfriend (we've been together for over 2 years now)
    We're both in our early 20s and are finishing up with college.

    Sure it sounds easier to just do your thing while you're still young BUT we honestly don't have that issue. For us we recognize and accept each other as individuals but we compliment each other so well... the age thing goes out of the window!

    I hear so many people saying they want to experience the world and find themselves (while they're young) but I have to say that a relationship won't stop you from doing that. I have my best friend to be by my side to experience things with and I really don't see how being in a relationship blinds me from personal growth. If anything it helps me to discover and better things about myself.

    Basically when we realized we were in love with each other we had a serious conversation: we vowed to give each other 100%... sounds simple and it is!
    If I do whatever I can do within reason to make things work and he does the same, How can we go wrong? Sure we have small disagreements but we make things work and we really couldn't be happier!

    But I do understand why most people our age would wait and I think it's probably the best choice... It's all about maturity so whether you are 20 or 50 you may not be ready for a serious relationship If you aren't ready to be honest, committed and mature with someone else.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 04:46 AM
    redrose24
    I agree that some people may not be ready for a relationship in their 20's.. and I agree that some are. Personally, I don't think maturity has everything to do with it. Of course there must be maturity in a relationship for it to work out in the end, but when deciding whether you're ready... that's more of a personal choice. I'm glad to hear that you're able to experience everything with your boyfriend at your side. That is really great! My goals are a little more broad, and honestly.. it would be a lot easier if I just hold off on the relationship thing until I have a solid foot on a path in life. That's just my opinion though. Believe me, I've gone through my fair share of dates and such-- and most of them have turned out great--but being single hasn't been all that bad. Like I said before, that's great you have found someone. :) Love is the greatest thing, and I will eventually strive to find it again for my life.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 08:23 AM
    mimi03
    You know Im really drawn to these type of discussions, Mainly because I was the biggest skeptic of people our age being in serious relationships and I am still a realist and critical thinker.

    What I see from young and old alike (take a look around this board)... Is that people aren't honest (w/ themselves and their partners), they are selfish, and/or immature etc.

    Keeping in mind that there are many issues that fall under the Immaturity umbrella. ((i.e. thinking vows will change a person, thinking you can change the behavior of someone else, thinking Love conquers all:: Immaturity))

    Therefore I can't advocate that age is the issue anymore, I know that with age you should grow as a person but the issues I listed above aren't age sensitive... age should give you a leg up in life IMO but often does not prove the ability to make or break a relationship.

    "but when deciding whether or not you're ready... that's more of a personal choice"
    I totally agree with this but some aren't even able to be honest with themselves to decide they aren't ready, they know... but still jump into relationships they shouldn't be in.

    Just wanted to expand my thoughts on the subject :)
    Good luck to you with all of your future endeavors, you have a plan of action and determination... that's a great place to start!

    *Best Wishes*

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