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-   -   21 never been in a relationship & never been kissed (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=234602)

  • Jul 7, 2008, 12:55 AM
    Sam_antha3321
    21 never been in a relationship & never been kissed
    Ok so I'm 21, single and never been kissed. Is something wrong with me? I mean I know a lot of people haven't been in relationships at this age, but at least they've gone on a date, kissed someone and talked to someone that would have been a potential BF. I don't even know what to do on a date. I mean in the sense that most people get the routine down in high school or in college, so then when it comes to other relations they aren't so nervous talking to the person or whatever.

    I think I'm OK looking and likable. I just don't get it. I get so stressed out when people ask me " Do you have a Boyfriend?" Sure I say no, but then they are all shocked and drag it out in disbelief. I'm like, "thanks for making me feel worse!" I don't know, maybe something is wrong with me, and it saddens me. Maybe I'm not approachable?:(
  • Jul 7, 2008, 01:25 AM
    teezee
    Maybe you should just quit worrying about why people laugh in disbelief because its making you think something is wrong with you. If that's what you start to think of yourself, you will give others the same impression and probably be less likely to find a real date. Maybe you should just wait for something to happen and let nature takes it toll or you can do sometihng about it and do what other adults do which is go out to clubs, parties, or sometihng and try to just make friends with guys you find attractive in general. Don't be in a rush in to get into a relationship because trust me most of the time its not worth it. But to get a date try to talk to people you might find attractive I guess and be natural about it as not to come off strong.
  • Jul 7, 2008, 07:04 PM
    talaniman
    Just curious but where have you been the last 4/5 years?
  • Jul 7, 2008, 08:22 PM
    snuffy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Sam_antha3321
    Ok so I'm 21, single and never been kissed. Is something wrong with me? I mean I know a lot of people haven't been in relationships at this age, but at least they've gone on a date, kissed someone and talked to someone that would have been a potential BF. I don't even know what to do on a date. I mean in the sense that most people get the routine down in high school or in college, so then when it comes to other relations they aren't so nervous talking to the person or whatever.

    I think I'm ok looking and likable. I just dont get it. I get so stressed out when people ask me " Do you have a Boyfriend?" Sure I say no, but then they are all shocked and drag it out in disbelief. I'm like, "thanks for making me feel worse!" I don't know, maybe something is wrong with me, and it saddens me. maybe I'm not approachable?:(

    Hey Sam antha, where you from?

    Don't worry too much about what you have or haven't done so far. There's no rle saying you should have kissed a guy by now.

    I'm free to date you! :)
  • Jul 7, 2008, 08:38 PM
    KISS
    Just say "I'm not in an exclusive relationship right now. Why do you ask?"
  • Jul 7, 2008, 08:42 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    To be honest with you, their disbelief just means that they can't believe someone hasn't snagged you up yet.

    I personally like girls that haven't been in a relationship... it's a challenge and it's also very admirable... means the girl's choosy.
  • Jul 7, 2008, 10:49 PM
    Alty
    You're still young, don't worry about it.

    You'll find someone, just go out, have fun, be yourself, approach people. It's 2008, it's okay for you to ask a guy out on a date. :)
  • Jul 8, 2008, 05:36 AM
    Romefalls19
    Take their disbelief as a compliment as it shows you are a classy lady. Not many girls have respect for themselves these days(no offense intended) and it comes off as a surprise to the people you tell.
  • Jul 9, 2008, 04:07 PM
    Hannyboo17
    That's just pathetic, try lukin at what's wrong with u, not being mean but your obviously going wrong sumwherd, grow sum bak bone, feel beautiful and go out there and enjoy yourself!
  • Jul 9, 2008, 04:12 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Hannyboo17
    Thats just pathetic, try lukin at whats wrong with u, not being mean but ure obviously going wrong sumwherd, grow sum bak bone, feel beautiful and go out there and enjoy urself!

    Why is it pathetic? Does everyone in the world have to be in a relationship, be sexually active, just to be like everyone else? Well, let me tell you, there are more people like the OP out there, she's not alone, and she's not pathetic. Society has screwed us all up, making us believe that if we aren't with someone then there's something wrong with us. Well, there isn't anything wrong with her.

    This has nothing to do with back bone, this has to do with principles, and I applaud the OP for having hers. She is beautiful, and she will go out and find someone when she's ready to do so, not because someone said she should.

    You said you're not being mean, yes, you are.
  • Jul 9, 2008, 04:16 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    1. Actually, there's nothing wrong with that. I know dozens of girls who are 21, 22 who haven't had boyfriends. Nothing's wrong with them. Actually, they're all pretty good looking and intelligent... just very picky about the guys.

    2. Nothing to do with backbone.. if anything, this person has more of backbone to say no and be selective about the guys they date unlike some girls who date anyone at the drop of a hat.

    3. Figure out where you went wrong in school. Your spelling's atrocious.
  • Jul 9, 2008, 04:26 PM
    ylaira
    My first Bf was when I was 20. I got trust issues that's why.But u can learn how to interact & respond w/ situations little by little.Its never too late dear.Ur just 21!
  • Jan 17, 2010, 12:31 AM
    merhur

    Yeah I'm 17 and been wondering about this too. I just think trying too hard to look for a guy is going to make the whole process unnatural and not fun. I mean of course, if you want to be more social then just talk to more guys and hopefully something will come up. But I don't think you have to feel like you're coming up short or something's "wrong with you."

    Yeah maybe people might say you're inexperienced or whatever. But it shouldn't matter! Just don't go out saying "i need to find him." go out saying "there's going to be someone out there."

    Maybe that's too optimistic. But I mean, coming from someone who's younger than you, I don't see it as a bad thing to be single at 21. :) it'll come!
  • Jan 17, 2010, 01:50 AM
    amicon

    Hopefully the OP has sorted this out now-the thread is from 2008.
  • Jan 17, 2010, 12:54 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Closed, so hard to understand, a new poster comes and out of 1000's of threads they find one that is a year and a half old to answer.

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