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-   -   Falling apart. Again! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=234393)

  • Jul 6, 2008, 12:39 PM
    MR SADSACK
    Falling apart. Again!
    Why is it when you think things are coming 'right' you fall backwards again...
    There is absolutley N/C with my ex an I now and I can tell you its not as esay as I thought even with notes to myself etc...
    All I think of is who she may be with now etc...
    But one of the overpowering things is I wonder if she at least thinks of me in some 'nice way' at all
    Maybe some female members of this forum would know?
    I miss her and miss the memories but I know that talking to her again will just push me backward.. not talking to her and your mind makes its on little scenarios up...
    Help me get through this please!
    Is there anything that helps tjis dammed if you do dammned if you don't problem:(
  • Jul 6, 2008, 02:45 PM
    Chery
    Did you change the décor in the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen yet?
    Did you change your selection of music and other entertainment? Been making new friends without being 'sappy' and turning them off before they even get a chance to know you?
    Have you been our to new places and keeping busy on weekends going to the park, gym, or swimming?

    It seems to me that you still take at least 23/7 thinking about her and the other guy/s while sitting on the pity-pot. GET OFF IT!

    We told you it will take time and effort on your part - healing from a break-up takes longer than the chase and is a lot harder, but we all have been through it more than once in our lives and we survived. It takes TIME and common sense - and obsesseion has absolutely no place in this healing process and being jealous or blaming other guys for your problem is not going to do it either. They don't know you and you don't really know them, so why waste your prescious time even thinking about them, unless you are on a masochistic trip.

    You did have some ideas in the past and have tried to help others with their problems - how about concentrating some of that advice on yourself and using it constructively.

    Of course it hurts like heck! We all know this, but we accept it and cope with it until the TIME comes when each day the memories vanish.

    Now it's time to make new memories and work on the new you - and you don't want it to be a wuss (do you?).

    So, here is your official kick in the butt from 'grandma' and I hope it landed in the right place and got you thinking that it's time to do less talk and more action.

    It's your choice... what would you suggest to another in your 'poor me' position?

    Good luck.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif

    Who care of what and how she thinks of you now... what's important is how you think of you!
  • Jul 6, 2008, 03:03 PM
    MR SADSACK
    Grandma he he
    Thank you it was a real wake up call.
    I seem to come right and get accepting of how things are and indeed logic kicks in but then when I fall I really fall... the tears start and off I go again...
    Your advice has hit home though

    Xx
  • Jul 6, 2008, 03:11 PM
    Chery
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MR SADSACK
    Grandma he he
    thank you it was a real wake up call.
    I seem to come right and get accepting of how things are and indeed logic kicks in but then when I fall I really fall... the tears start and off I go again....
    your advice has hit home tho

    xx
    Honest, I am a 57 year old grandma, just ask my grandson - Alexander Bryce - who is going to be two years old on the 29th of this month.

    And, believe me, I've been there, done that... and survived those hard falls, so you will too - I promise!

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_28.gif
    My hair is now silver (had it done yesterday and love the new color) and I still love to ride along on a fast bike.
  • Jul 6, 2008, 03:13 PM
    MR SADSACK
    Just wish it would happen soon I really haven't given it long enough its just the 'theatre in my mind It plays a story that 'I imagine' I hate it!! Why does this happen
  • Jul 6, 2008, 03:20 PM
    Chery
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MR SADSACK
    Just wish it would happen soon i really havnt given it long enough its just the 'theatre in my mind It plays a story that 'I imagine' I hate it!!!! why does this happen
    Because it's not a movie - it's real life and only we have control over the script. So, you either become a darned good fiction writer with a lot of fantasy, or start working on a decent autobiography of a real human being who managed his life and problems with success.

    It's your call.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif
    We can use all sorts of 'quotes' i.e. 'ups and downs', 'cherries with pits', 'the grass is always greener', etc...
    We all have to deal with our own reality and make the best we can out of it. TIME and reflection will help.

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