Here's the deal.

Broke up with my girlfriend 8 months ago. She dated again, I didn't. She was my first girlfriend. My family didn't approve of her.

Now she's coming to visit my city for a week. After that, we won't be in the same city for another 5 months.

I love her a lot, she loves me a lot. Since the breakup, we've only been really talking nicely to each other a week ago. She'll be visiting at the end of the month.

We both want to have a sex romp while she visits. However, since we won't be able to officially get back together for another 5 months, is that a bad idea? Also, I'd like to keep it a secret to my friends and family at the moment. Does sex romp = relationship again?

Thank you

Well I guess from the church I could doom you to hell for wanting wild sex with no commitments. But if you are both consenting adults, you are free to do what you want, only don't do it, with the idea it is anything but sex, since she seems clear that she is not into a current relationship with you.

I think that she wants a relationship, knowing that it would be pretty thin over the next 5 months. I don't want one at the moment, because it would be thin, and cause issues, and I'd like to spend actual time with her to see if I really still love her.

Neither of us religious, and have very sexy things planned. I'm a guy, I haven't had sex since we've broken up, and I find her very attractive and we had a great sex life. Even if we didn't plannnn a sex romp, if we are found alone, with or without substances, I might find it difficult to keep her at bay.

You're adults, you can do what you want. Just realize that's it's only sex, not necessarily you two getting back together. Personally, I don't recommend it, your heart will get broken all over again, but, the decision is yours and hers, no one else's.

I think that the fact that you're asking us what you should do shows that you have reservations, it's time to find out why.

Good luck.

I lived a fairly wild life as a younger man, and I can be honest I do wish that many of my wild affairs had never happen. In the long run I am hearing that you think she wants a relationship, and you did not think it was over and the BUT in 5 months, If in 5 months it is that you will be back together, then wait till then and let it happen.

** the religious note was a joke, since I have the religious title.

Being that this was your first girlfriend and you have'nt dated anyone since your breakout over 8 months ago, but she has, shows that maybe you have not gotten over her. This sex romb might be a not work out for you even if you might just be horny since you have not had any since the break-up. Question: was she your first sexual encounter?

Yea I was a virgin before her. We were going out a year before the breakup

.I tried to date after the breakup, but I was in an unfriendly environment away from home for the first 3 months, and in the next while I just didn't get any lucky hits. Though I still saw a lot of cute girls that I was interested in which was a nice step in the right direction.

I suppose I haven't gotten over her, and she hasn't gotten over me. True that I don't want to get into a long distance relationship now, and I suppose I wouldn't care if she dated or whatevs during the next 5 months, but afterwards, I'd like to work on a relationship again. A normal one, that isn't all sex based.

I think I know what the answer should be, I'm just a little frightened to tell her now.

I appreciate all of the advice! Thank you so much!

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Does sex romp = relationship again?

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That first one is a real head turner for sure, and I understand that. Don't get carried away by it though, as she does with you, she does with others, so expecting to rekindle a romance from a sexual encounter, is not wise and honestly, she has made you a friend with benefits, so either enjoy it for what it is, good sex, or leave it alone, and be realistic, and not caught up in a fantasy.

Welllll, I don't know about that. She is rather "infactuated" with me to say the least. Says she didn't have sex since we broke up. I don't think she's looking to be just friends

What have you guys been doing during the 8 months of this break up?

WOW, was it that good??

Oops, sorry tal. It was good, but my computer froze up and I didn't think it had gone through, so I hit it again, then the computer froze again, so, you ended up getting three greenies from me. I guess my computer just really liked your answer. Return the favor some time, okay? ;)

Your computor loves me, must be female... and breathing.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Your computor loves me, must be female.......................and breathing.

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Must be female, she's got the attitude for it. ;)