TWENTY FIVE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
Was God and I didn't..
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
Medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance..
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
Thousand times the memory.

I plan to live forever... so far so good.

#5 cracked me up :)
Kudos buddie!

I loved 11 and 13 Flossie. Unless I stopped to think about the rest, and forgot to start again! LOL!

Hey soft:

I have a correlary to #5.

Life is a terminal illness.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KeepItSimpleStupid

Hey soft:

I have a correlary to #5.

Life is a terminal illness.

---

Haha good one!!

Some days #3 sure takes the cake...

He he he I LOVED 18!

#2. great example of my line being stolen.
#6 It's not the voices that I hear in my head that scare me, it is the voices I hear in your head that scare me
#16 I can't be over the hill I never even found the top of it.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.:p

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me:eek:
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.:rolleyes:

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now!
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance..
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!:D

Thanks flossie... I loved these the most from the list.

Got to love some of those... nice one flossie :)