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-   -   Child care and addiction (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=234109)

  • Jul 5, 2008, 01:19 PM
    xsmartimusx
    Child care and addiction
    I am a fireman. I work 24hrs on 48 off. I found out my wife has a serious addiction to prescription oxycotin. She wants help. Her doctor chose her as his first suboxone patient. We are currently waiting. Meanwhile he took her off her meds cold turkey due to abuse. Myself and my beautiful children sat in her doctors office as she rocked back and forth to see if he would give her meds until suboxone comes in. He did it on the under the strict rule that I physically give her each dose at the correct time.She take 30mg.every 4 hrs. This addiction is tearing our family apart and I debate often on helping or turning my back and moving on with just myself and my children. My question is, can a person in withdraw properly care for children? Im a sick nervous wreck every shift now, and if something ever happened, I left them in her care? I never used pain pills or had addiction, Im not sure what the mind is like. Thank you
  • Jul 5, 2008, 01:55 PM
    startover22
    Hi xsmart, if she wants help, then so be it. I say find family or friends to help with the kids till this settles a bit. There are surely going to be rough and hard times in the process. How old are the kids? Is it summer where you are and could you sign them up for camps? Can you let the kids stay at a friends house during the 24 hour period that your wife is with them? Do you know people in your area to help you out? She wants help, she needs you to be there for her. Maybe just making arrangements for the kids while you aren't there will be a big load off your shoulders? Good luck, and please remember you married this woman, everyone makes mistakes and gets caught up in something... she needs you right now more than ever, especially if she is willing;)
  • Jul 5, 2008, 04:08 PM
    MayfairLady
    Who gives her the medication when you are at work? Have you got some support in that area?

    People are usually ashamed to admit that this problem is in their family. The best thing you could do is tell your immediate family and get them to support you. Sounds to me like your wife may need hospitalisation/rehab if her withdrawl is really bad, and she will need time to adjust to life without the tablets, so really you and your children will need a lot of support.

    Get your wife the help she needs through addiction services, that doctor didn't seem to have much understanding of treating addiction, and placing the responsibility on you to administer medication was a bit much given your circumstances. You need professional addiction services advice.

    Can you take a couple of week's holiday to give yourself some space and sort out a plan of action?

    Do not make any rash decisions now that could affect your family for the rest of their lives. Your wife sounds like she wants help and she is not a bad person for getting addicted, she is very unwell.
  • Jul 5, 2008, 04:38 PM
    simoneaugie
    I agree with the above posts. Don't be scared into running away. You can handle the situation or it wouldn't have been given to you.
  • Jul 5, 2008, 04:52 PM
    starfirefly
    You should prob see if someone can take the kids for a while, its safer and better, addicts are difficult when they don't have what they want and can turn violent see if your parents can take them for a while so she can get better, or sign her into a treatment centre
  • Jul 5, 2008, 04:59 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    I will be honest, I am shocked, at the thought of runnng away, she has a medical problem that she did not cause, she had a medical condition and got hooked on the drugs the doctor was giving her legally, So now she needs to get off it, But no, some other adult needs to be there with her while she is coming off the drug ( withdraw) for her protection and to help with the kids.

    If you have proper insurance, see about getting her into a rehab to come off the drug easier.
  • Jul 5, 2008, 07:58 PM
    startover22
    Good luck to you and your family, I sure hope you have some support where you are to help you, the kids and her get through this!;) If you have any questions, the people on this site are ordinary people just like you or I and have knowledge in many different areas. It would be good to hear about how you and the family are doing!

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