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-   -   Bedroom worries (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=233611)

  • Jul 3, 2008, 06:09 PM
    darkalliance
    Bedroom worries
    OK, so me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while now and he just doesn't seem interested in bed. He says he loves me but I literally have to beg for it. The only time this as happened before is when I've been cheated on. I love him more than anything and it hurts to think its possible but I can't trust him anymore. Any suggestions.
  • Jul 3, 2008, 06:31 PM
    mels mom
    Have you been going out a long time? Has you relationship in bed gotten predictable?
    How old you are is also a consideration. Younger boys get board easily. If you don't keep him interested he may be looking elcewhere for excitement. Sit him down and talk to him about how you feel.insist he is honest with you. You sound young. If he's cheating on you there is a lot of other fish in the sea. Don't sound desperate to him. I've found guys wants things more if they think they can't have them or are going to lose them.
  • Jul 3, 2008, 06:35 PM
    darkalliance
    He's older than me and its been around years. I've asked him why before and he just says he can't be bothered which makes me think he's put off by how I look, I've had a kid about a year ago and my insecurity as sky rocketed, I could be paranoid but everything points towards cheating.
    We both want to marry each other but how can we with no trust or honesty
  • Jul 3, 2008, 07:14 PM
    mels mom
    I was a single mom. Been there, done that. Don't waste your time on someone that obviously doesn't care. The worst thing you cn do is think you are not good enough. Find someone that appreaciates you. But don't look too hard. Concetrate on your child and yourself and he will come along when you aren't looking for him.
  • Jul 4, 2008, 08:36 AM
    talaniman
    How old are you both, and how old is this relationship??

    From experience , kids will change your sex life for a while. It will never go back to the free wheeling frollick it once was, especially if a man is reluctant to deal with another pregnancy, or more children.
  • Jul 4, 2008, 11:52 AM
    darkalliance
    He's 21 and I'm 18-19. And we both want more
  • Jul 4, 2008, 12:22 PM
    talaniman
    Any stress?? Ask him.
  • Jul 15, 2008, 07:49 AM
    darkalliance
    I've asked him and all he says is he isn't in the mood, I've tried everything from subtle hints to telling him I need some attention. I know this sounds skankish but I'm seriously considering cheating on him. I've even bought myself some 'toys' but it isn't the same. With any other boyfriend I haven't been bothered but with him I just want to be that close to him 24/7. I'm starting to think maybe we should just call it a day its our 3rd anniversary today and he hasn't even kissed me. What does everyone else think? Should I finish it or try one last time? Understand that my feelings towards this guy are incredible, it's more than just being in love, its bigger than anything in the world.
  • Jul 15, 2008, 10:13 AM
    talaniman
    Could that be the problem, its to big for you to handle? Deal with your insecurities, wants, and needs in a more positive way, by backing off him, and focusing on you having hobbies, and activities, that get you busy doing constructive things, that makes you happy.

    New friends, hobbies, classes, or something you can do without him. The idea is to be more independent, and in control of yourself, and to subtlety draw him to you, without stress, or nagging. Its also great for self confidence, and self esteem.

    Not easy with kids, but that's what grandparents are for. Is that do able?
  • Jul 15, 2008, 10:16 AM
    darkalliance
    Very there's a book club opened around the block a couple of days ago. I could join that
  • Jul 15, 2008, 11:49 AM
    talaniman
    That's a great start, DO IT! If you attend church, they always need volunteers. Good clean fun is right under our noses.

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