I am going threw a divorce right now, we had the final hearing yesterday. My ex husband wants full custody and so do I. The judge wants the lawyers to each put together a facts sheet and submit it by July 21st before she makes a decision. Just to give you some background info we separated in Dec 07 I found out he was cheating on me, he was moved in with this girl within 2 weeks! They bought a house together in Feb 08 and also got ingaged that same month and now I find out she is a couple of months pregnant. All of this happened within a period of 6 months!! (She already has 3 kids) I am not a saint myself just have to be honest. I stguggled with alcholism in the past but I have been sober since Oct 07, when I got sober that is when the things that were going on started to make sense. I realized the life I was living wasn't the life I wanted for me and my kids, I wanted better. So I got sober went to rehab and regularly attend AA meetings. I am concerned that because of my past I will not get custody of my son even though I am doing the right thing now. It just sucks to think this woman can step in destroy my family then be full time guardian with my ex, she is trying to be mom to MY son. She will never take my place, my son and I are inseparable. Please Help!!

You prove you have made a pro active choice to change and show any documentation of rehab, AA and anything else in your favor. If the Judge doesn't see any concerns with him or you he will most likely rule joint custody and visitations. I doubt he will give sole custody to either one of you without good proof to do so.

How old is your son and what does he want? Does he see your ex often?
All parties involved need to think about the kid before they apply for full custody.
(and don't worry, she will be too preoccupied with her new little one and current kids to take over your place as a mommy!)

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Originally Posted by blackblue

How old is your son and what does he want? Does he see your ex often?
All parties involved need to think about the kid before they apply for full custody.
(and don't worry, she will be too preoccupied with her new little one and current kids to take over your place as a mommy!)

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My son is only 4 yrs old and my daughter is 9. The 9 year old is by a previous but my ex has been in her life since she was 3yrs old. The only reason I am going for full custody is because that is what my lawyer advised me to do, I don't have a problem with joint custody, but my ex on the other hand wants full custody because his girlfriend has custody of her kids he says they are his "NEW FAMILY" now. He said it would be more convenient for him if he had full custody. She has allot to do with him wanting custody because when we first split up he didn't want our son as much as he does now since they have been together, and he wants absolutely nothing to do with my daughter. It's sad because the kids are the one's getting hurt, especially my daughter who now feels totally not wanted by the person she has called daddy for six years.

That's really sad.Well, I doubt they can take away your rights and get him full custody since you are the mother so hopefully he can take the stick out and grow up! Wanting to take a kid away from its parents fully is messed up and maybe the judge will see that.

Write everything about your life.. alcoholism... how you were cheated on...

Then say that you come to realize that life is hard for you and if you were granted to have full custody, you will do your best as a single mother to raise both children. If the judge doubts you, tell him that you've been through a lot and taking care of children will not stop you from moving on with your life (non-relationship way)