Hi, I have written a passage for a book (im writing one) and I wanted to know what you think. But:
1) it is about vampires
2) it is written in second person view
3) I know its not perfect.
Please tell me what you think
"you dropped the knife in horrid realization of what you had done. You looked around as the eyes of your friend had gone as round as the moon. You took a step forward, but she cowered in a corner, terrified. With hands soaked in blood, you couldn’t help yourself, you wanted that blood. Kristen gave a gasp. You dropped to your knees, licking the blood, before it could wash away in the water. “I’m a vampire, a horrible vampire!” you thought to yourself. Suddenly, you ran away. You couldn’t feel your pulse, but you could feel the heartbeats of everyone else. Behind you, Kristen screamed and then fainted"