I need a little help here. My ex broke up with me about two months ago. It was a really nasty break up. I did the whole let's try to work it out thing. The begging, the phone calls the whole nine. I recently stopped contact with her, but each time I get close to not thinking about her she calls, and I go right back to thinking about her constantly. I went awhile with out calling her or anything then she up and called me to come over my place. I got a new apartment after we broke up this was her first time coming to my place. It was 10:30 @ night when she calls of course I let her come over we talked a little bit I showed her I was doing fine, but I still thought about her from time to time. She said the same that she still thinks about me also, but she also started to tell me about a few guys that were trying to date her. (What’s up with that) I asked her to spend the night since it was so late but she declined and went home. What does this mean I'm confused. I sent her a letter telling her that I was basically done with the relationship and I was just moving on with my life and just wanted to know how she was doing from time to time. I asked her to send me a email telling me what she thought how she was feeling about everything and she still hasn’t sent the email. What kind of game is she playing ladies I need your help. What is she doing?

She broke up with you but it sounds like it wasn't a major battle breakup, it was a calmer one. That is unfortunate. If you two were REALLY pissed off at each other, it might make moving on easier.

So, instead her lingering feelings for you allow her to reach out and dangle meaningless carrots in front of you and you try to bite. She may be doing it on purpose or may simply be ignorant of the effect this has on you. Or she may know and not really care. Who knows?

But you're allowing her to do this with your full permission. She dumped you so it's normal for you to want her back no matter what. Again, that's unfortunate. If you DO get her back, you think you're getting back that awesome girl you once started dating, but what you're really getting back is that girl at the end who can dump you. It's hard to remember that.

If you really want to move on, then do it without communicating to her about the process. You do it without her. You don't get "updates" on how she's doing and you DON'T open yourself to her poison carrot-dangling ways.

To move on from someone who won't go away, YOU have to go away.

Perfect answer JB, I had to spread the rep..

There really isn't much more to say! Just move on and get your own life without her!

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Originally Posted by Dallasboy

I need a little help here. My ex broke up with me about two months ago. It was a really nasty break up. I did the whole let's try to work it out thing. The begging, the phone calls the whole nine. I recently stopped contact with her, but each time I get close to not thinking about her she calls, and I go right back to thinking about her constantly. I went awhile with out calling her or anything then she up and called me to come over my place. I got a new apartment after we broke up this was her first time coming to my place. It was 10:30 @ night when she calls of course I let her come over we talked a little bit I showed her I was doing fine, but I still thought about her from time to time. She said the same that she still thinks about me also, but she also started to tell me about a few guys that were trying to date her. (What’s up with that) I asked her to spend the night since it was so late but she declined and went home. What does this mean I'm confused. I sent her a letter telling her that I was basically done with the relationship and I was just moving on with my life and just wanted to know how she was doing from time to time. I asked her to send me a email telling me what she thought how she was feeling about everything and she still hasn’t sent the email. What kind of game is she playing ladies I need your help. What is she doing?

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Unfortunately, it sounds like you are thriving on hopes of getting back with her and this is why you are confused. To me, she is trying to establish a "friendship" with you, whereas you are still trying to establish a "relationship". She broke up with you and despite your begging and pleading, she stood her grounds and moved on. She is not playing any games by not answering your email pertaining to relationships and her feelings. She's looking for a friend and you are looking for a relationship. You have to "ACCEPT" the terms that she has CLEARLY established or "REJECT" them and move on. To be honest, to me, you have NOT accepted the fact that you all are over because if you "HAD" you wouldn't have put the word "relationship" in the same email body with "her thoughts and feelings." BTW, her telling you about guys trying to date her was a "Dallasboy, you are my friend and I need someone to talk to" move.

Michelle

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Originally Posted by Michelle4452

Unfortunately, it sounds like you are thriving on hopes of getting back with her and this is why you are confused. To me, she is trying to establish a "friendship" with you, whereas you are still trying to establish a "relationship". She broke up with you and despite your begging and pleading, she stood her grounds and moved on. She is not playing any games by not answering your email pertaining to relationships and her feelings. She's looking for a friend and you are looking for a relationship. You have to "ACCEPT" the terms that she has CLEARLY established or "REJECT" them and move on. To be honest, to me, you have NOT accepted the fact that you all are over because if you "HAD" you wouldn't have put the word "relationship" in the same email body with "her thoughts and feelings." BTW, her telling you about guys trying to date her was a "Dallasboy, you are my friend and I need someone to talk to" move.

Michelle

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Yes,I'm still a little attached,but why would she up and call me out the blue @ 10:30 @ night.When I had not called her or anything to come to my place.We could have talked on the phone.

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Originally Posted by Dallasboy

Yes,i'm still a little attached,but why would she up and call me out the blue @ 10:30 @ night.When I had not called her or anything to come to my place.We could have talked on the phone.

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Dallasboy, first of all, what you are feeling is perfectly okay; probably not healthy, but okay. I think you are building high hopes upon something that is not there. Let's see, there's plenty of reasons that she "probably" called you out the blue at 10:30 at night, but unless you {asked} her directly and she {told} you (notice I used past tense), you will have to go upon an assumption. However, based upon the conversation leading up to the visit, the visit in itself and her actions thereafter, I would have to say because "she needed someone, preferably a friend to talk to" nothing more or nothing less.

Now, we can also speculate and say something along the lines that maybe, just maybe she came over to see if there were hopes of any type of reconciliation, but once there, she discovered her answer was an astounding no and she left. If you were to go upon the lateral, I would say that you would be totally crushed, so I think it's a safer bet to go with the assumption that she wants to be your friend. Sorry, I can't give you the answer that you are WANTING to hear, I wish I could, but I can't. Again, you either ACCEPT what she's willing to give or REJECT it. Unfortunately, only YOU can make that decision.

Michelle

So speaking from experience.. On her end. She is doing this on purpose. She comes around so you still think about her. When she doesn't come around its prob because she is with someone else. But she keeps talking to you so that way you don't move on, and if she is with someone and he dumps her or if she gets bored of him, she has you to come running back to.
She is trying to keep you from moving on!!
I think you should just move on, or else she will continue her game!

Or you can come to the dark side!! wah ah ah and play her little game! Then break up with her!. or less evil =( change your number! The end!

If your serious about moving on, and want less confusion in your life, stop taking her calls, and be less available. The others are right, she is making sure she is still on your mind.

WESTSIDE!! Yeah dude find you a new one there a lot of easy, low selfsteam hot girls out there to make you feel better! There to many!! Thank you god!

She's not yet totally over you, you know dumper's remorse?Maybe just making you jealous, check your reaction if your already over her.