How is this unfaithful as an issue?
My boyfriend and I know each other for 18 years and live together for 12 years without legal marriage paper. Last July, he wanted (and I agreed) to commit a serious commitment for a spiritual assigment that required him to live 80 miles away from our home for about 6 months in a similar monastary setting.
And the plan was that he will return to our home with me. Before he left home, we never discussed or agreed on breaking up.
After 6 WEEKS apart, he surprised me by entering a fraud marriage just to help out a female member of his spiritual group for a green card without asking me at all. The night before he went to the court to swear his marriage license, he came home to take his citizenship certificate. That night, I asked him 3 times, "What did you take from home today?" He insisted "I take things". I respected him and did not ask any further.
After I found out his marriage fraud, I questioned him how come he did not tell me about this, he told me that one day, when things are well wrapped and done, and when I am in good mood, he will tell me about it... And he insisted it was only a paper. So he begged me not to get jealous, and promised me that when the lady gets the temporary green card, he will file a divorce... I demanded him to get an immediate divorce, but his answer was NO. So I demended him to sign an open date divorce petition so I can trust him that he will get divorce after the conditional green card is (hopefully) granted. (I could have submitted it in but I let him make his own move. )
And when I told him either me, or your paper wife, 'I am fed up'; he agreed to file the divorce to stop that marriage fraud before the green card interview was scheduled.
During the green card petition process, even after I was aware of the fraud he did, he still did not tell me anything about his contact w/ this woman, i.e. email, phone, go out to the banks together, chatting on the internet...
I am very hurt. I have complained and scolded him every day 4 months and he patiently listened and say sorry. He takes care of me w/ more attention and more generous about money. (Well, it should be the normal way of a relationship.-- Before this, our relationship was like a extended friendship.) I suppose, if without his stupid action, our relationship is very normal now. But I feel bitter because I think he is sweet to me because he is making up for his fault (he is a church go-er !). I am waiting (stupid or not) to see if his love is real or not. I am 50's. I am afraid to get in a new relationship. And I am afraid to be alone. I am alert and watching out his actions, though.