Originally Posted by Synnen
I think, honestly, that it's a mental block with you, Orgless.
If you're taught that sex is ONLY for marriage, and never taught that it's for pleasure--well, it's hard to find the thrill in the act. Do you or did you ever feel all bubbly inside from kissing? Did a touch make your hand tingle? That excitement is the beginning part of arousal. Obviously, it gets to be more than that--but you have to be mentally in the state for it. And really...after years of it not being anything for you, it's going to be hard to find that spark of excitement that grows into the flames of lust and burns down to the embers of arousal.
no i never did feel bubbly inside, hatever that is and still dont feel that way, ive never felt a tingle anywhere on my body other than say if i was getting a head rub or something such as that
So no..it's not unusual for a woman to not experience orgasm. MOST women have problems having an orgasm--at least until they have their first one ;) Do I think it's unusual to not feel any arousal? Yes--but I think some of that has to do with the fact that you were brought up to believe that arousal was bad and that only bad girls (the ones who because hookers, etc) were ever aroused, adn the good girls (the ones that got married) only had sex as part of the deal that surrounded marriage.
I'd be interested to know (not that you have to feel you need to share it--it would just be interesting to me) HOW you found out that women should be experiencing arousal/orgasms/etc, and how you never found out prior to that. I mean....I remember that famous scene from "When Harry Met Sally"---and I was probably in junior high at the time--but I also have read romance novels, and seen so many movies, and read enough books that were just best-sellers, with nothing that smutty about them, that I've pretty much known that women receive pleasure from sex/making out/kissing/fondling/etc since waaaaaay before I was doing it. I'd just be curious to find out the circumstances surrounding how you didn't know.
this is easy to answer, i dont watch tv or films i find them totaly boring, the tv may be on in thehouse but i switch off from it all and dont even listen, hubby might be glued to the story line etc etc but i havent even a clue who the actors are, same with books, i dont read as its just a load of words on a page for me that means nothing, and the odd thing that i have seen the noises those women made i thought they where in pain the same as me!!! why would i want to atch someone in pain? i had gone to my doctor and she had asked me about having orgasms, and i laughed at her saying that was only for men, she didnt offer any further enlightenment tho, it wasnt til i got home and told my hubby what she had said, that he ever found out that i didnt have a clue what an orgasm felt like, he took things for granted that during sex i felt the same sort of things as he did and since finding otherwise hes been trying to change that but none hs ever worked, oral is a waste of time, unless you want me to go to sleep that is, i dont even know what he does down there, manual is just plain poking around but that generaly hurts me, so what am i left with? not a lot am i?
Please understand--i'm not tryin to make you feel badly here. It's just hard for me to put myself in your shoes--and I really do want to help you. But I'm having a hard time with that because I really am having a hard time understanding it. That's no knock on you--if anything, it's a knock on myself for not being more understanding. Either way, I'm sure I'm making a mess of this explanation, and I just wanted you to know my opinion, and to express my curiosity without making you feel pressured.
