Hi, My husband and I have been together for eleven years, married for the past two. My three children, now 16, 18, & 20 have known their stepfamily since they were 4, 6, & 8. They would attend some of the stepfamily's events, but not all. They did visit their biological father on weekends, so it made it hard for them to attend all get togethers. (And they have something, even a small get-together every weekend.) My question is should I invite the stepfamily to the graduation party of my 18 year old? They invite me to every event that they have. And now that my two oldest girls are sort of adults, they have also been invited to the last bridal shower/wedding. I go to baby showers, christenings, confirmations, bridal showers, weddings, etc. for even his cousin's children. His "extended family" consists of approximately 80 people at this point. My husband does not want his "extended family" invited; he states that it's like holding your hand out for a gift. Do you agree? Should his family be invited or not?

If they invite you all the time and the 18 yr old gets along good with them I do not see a problem in inviting them. If you do not invite people because you do not want to make it look like you have a hand out for a gift then they could feel like ''all the times we invited them and now look they could not invite us! "
You can make it clear about not wanting gifts.

You leave it up to the 18 year that is graduating as to if they would like to invite their extended family or not. So if they want to just for the gift, that is their business not yours or if they would really like them there that is OK to. On some matters the who comes to the party should be left to the person who the party is for