Hey all, I'm new to this site but here goes nothing. I'm 29 yrs old but I'm a confused woman lately! I have been dating this guy I met online for almost 4 months now, and things have been going great. He's been the one to call all the time, plan dates etc, express how he feels but lately he has been dealing with a lot of family problems and has totally fallen of the face of the planet! Since we aren't exclusive yet, I know I have to choose carefully with how I act. He has been back in his home city dealing with everything, but since he has barely called me, I have been starting to take it personally... did he change his mind about me over night? I have tried expressing to him that I am here for him. He did call me once and sent me a text, but then 4 or 5 days go by and nothing! This has been going on for about a week and a half now. I haven't been contacting him, but do you guys think I should? I just want to know what is up. He is making me feel like it's something to do with us, and I want to know now before I get more invested in what we had going. This seriously came out of nowhere, but I know it is legit because I could hear him on the phone with his brother and whatever it is sounded serious.
We are both the first person each other has had feelings for since our last serious relationships, so maybe he is getting cold feet? Help!
-erica

I'm going to assume that this guy isn't lying and he truly is dealing with some things here.

If he is truly dealing with some family things, then there's nothing wrong for you to call him every now and then to see how he's doing. I wouldn't bring up the whole "I'm taking this personally"... and I wouldn't straight up ask, "Does this have something to do with us?" as that usually puts more strain on the relationship. However, there's nothing wrong in you just calling him up every few days to see how he's doing.

If it's truly serious, then just give him some time to let him work things out. Imagine if you were going through some rough times, it wouldn't be helpful for the guy you've recently started dating to call and continue asking "what's wrong? Are you ok? Are we ok?" right?

Call him and pay attention to if he sounds irritated to hear from you. If he is make it short and don't call again. He could be really busy and drained with his family problems and you two aren't exclusive yet so you can't expect too much from him.

Well the last time I heard from his was via text on thurs so I gave him a jingle yesterday. Left a nice message, just casual saying hello and that I hope things are going well. I haven't heard back yet. He said he was having phone problems, but my oh my that sounds like an excuse I know. You are right, he might possible be dealing with something horrible, but the fact that he doesn't have the respect to contact me back, is really making me upset and losing interest. It hurts.

To be honest with you, if you two are simply just starting to date a little bit, he has every right to not put you on top of his list if he's going through a serious problem. If you two are in a serious relationship, that's one thing, but casually dating, yeah.