Ask Me Help Desk - Father missing for 6 1/2 years

I am new to this so here goes.
I kicked my ex out 6 1/2 years ago and Child support just now tracked him down. (Finally) There has been no contact at all since he has been gone. He has already spent time in jail for another child and finally signed over his rights to her years ago. Now, when I tried to talk to him and ask him to do this for my son so my husband can adopt him. He yells and pretty much refuses. Says he has changed his life around and "might want to see our son in the future but not right now". My husband has raised and supported my son since I kicked out my ex. Does anyone has any suggestions?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dani75

I am new to this so here goes.
I kicked my ex out 6 1/2 years ago and Child support just now tracked him down. (Finally) There has been no contact at all since he has been gone. He has already spent time in jail for another child and finally signed over his rights to her years ago. Now, when I tried to talk to him and ask him to do this for my son so my husband can adopt him. He yells and pretty much refuses. Says he has changed his life around and "might want to see our son in the future but not right now". My husband has raised and supported my son since I kicked out my ex. Does anyone has any suggestions?

The "how do I get him to sign over the child" question is posted at least once a day and it varies from State to State.

Some posters have gone to Court for support at which time the father decides he'd rather sign off and allow the child to be adopted. Some posters have agreed to drop back support if the father will allow the child to be adopted.

He is the father and as such he has rights. Maybe he doesn't exercise them, but he does have rights.

A family law Attorney might be very helpful to you.

The reasons to force his rights away vary from state to state, often conviction of a felony with prison time is one in many, normally just not seeing the children and not paying child support is not enough to force their rights away.

Often you keep taking him to court for unpaid child support, get him in jail for not paying for a few weeks, get a garnishment on his pay check,
Sometimes after they get tired of paying and tired of going to jail tey will sign their rights over

This guy has already gone through the non-payment of support thing with another child that he signed over years ago. He's been in and out of jail for the non-support and drinking driving/boating. I don't think the sitting in jail thing bothers him.
I made the mistake of staying with the guy and now I pay the price, but I think the best interest of my child is more important than his "parental rights".
There has to be a way I can show the courts (Florida) that he is a deadbeat and he will never even attempt to make any support work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dani75

This guy has already gone through the non-payment of support thing with another child that he signed over years ago. He's been in and out of jail for the non-support and drinking driving/boating. I don't think the sitting in jail thing bothers him.
I made the mistake of staying with the guy and now I pay the price, but I think the best interest of my child is more important than his "parental rights".
There has to be a way I can show the courts (Florida) that he is a deadbeat and he will never even attempt to make any support work.

Possibly - request that he be put in jail for failure to pay - but that is not going to terminate his rights as the natural father. Lots of fathers don't support and/or visit their kids, won't sign over their rights.

It's a real problem and I don't know what the answer is. Nor does the Court system. And, yes, the best interest of your child is more important than his parental rights - but unless he is abusive or dangerous to the child or LEGALLY abandons your child (which he has not done, the child is with you) I don't see him losing his parental rights.

Wish I had the words you want to hear but I don't think they exist. If he signed over 1 child (were you aware of the situation when you were with him) there is a possibility he will sign over yours. But if his game is to upset you, well, then he probably won't - and we've all met those mothers (and fathers).