My ex-girlfriend tells me every day that I didn't put her heart first, and god knows I did, and it hurts so much to have her think I didn't put her first, she says if I had put her heart first, that I would have quit helping my friend, she thinks that I went running to my friends every beck and call and I didn't , she tells me that I always defended my friendship more that my relationship with her, I did put her heart first I lived with her and I constantly told her how much I loved her and adored her, and appreciated her I mean we both wore rings to make it look like we were already married, and I told her other woman seen that that she had nothing to worrie about , but she still let me go, in the beginning we would argue about me helping my friend and I would get upset and act like I was leaveing to she if she would try to stop me and she would, I know I just wanted to see how much shre really loved me, but after a while the tables turned after I called her those names, then I was the one begging her not to let me go, god knows I didn't do anything but try to get her to trust me, she says if I truly cared and put her heart first, that I wouldn't have spent so much time helping my friend! I helped my girlfriend so much, but she still thinks I helped my friend to often, that I didn't help her enough that I didn't pick the kids up from school and I did, she wouldn't ask all the time she says she didn't want to ask because she figured I had to help my friend, so she wouldn't ask, so I would ask her instead all the time if she needed me to get the kids from school and a lot of times I did, id go pick them up from after school, or go get them if one was sick and needed to come home, or if she was sick I would sit by her side 4 days and do what ever she needed, but when I got sick from what she had it didn't matter and she was feeling good enough to pick a fight and because I was feeling like crap I would get mad and start retaliating and be mean back, but she doesn't see that, alls she will look at is the time I spent helping my friend! How do I get her to believe I did put her heart first, I love her and I need her to believe I never put another woman's heart first! That I would go to sleep with her and wake up with her and I would always tell her how much I loved her, but she still let me go after I got sick of the false accusations and got mad and called her those terrible names out of retaliation? And all though we haven't been together in a relationship in 5 months now, we still talk every day, and just when I feel we are making progress she brings up that I shouldn't have put another woman's heart first and she doesn't think she will ever get over it, and starts to argue again! Ugh! How do I get her to believe I only was hers and I love her and only her and alls I did was help a friend!she is old enough to be my mother over weight and a 2 time cancer survivor, and had her back broke in 6 places, and had a tramatic past that's why we were so good friends because we both had been through so much in life, but man there is no frikin way I would ever do anything with her , and besides I've never cheated in any relationship and I haven't helped my friend or even talked to her after my girlfriend told me to stop helping and my friend said she didn't want to be the one to that makes my relationship not work so, I stopped but my girlfriend still will not believe I didn't do anything but try to help my friend?

It is awful to be in love with such a selfish person ! There isn't anything you can do to change someone who s so self centered. My advice to you is to dump this one as fast as you can and find a girl who cares a bit about you instead of one who cares only about herself.

Sounds to me like anything you do she will still say it is not enough.
There is a line between helping your friends and being a doormat.
If you weren't running for every little whim of theirs and made good choices about their needs and their wants and gave your girlfriend your attention she really shouldn't have a problem.
Not like you were spending bunches of time running around at the bars and leaving her at home.
She has made it clear she doesn't think she will get over the past so don't waste any more time talking and trying to make progress.

Imagine talking that girl into staying with you and spending the rest of your life defending every action, every friendship, every real mistake and every imagined one... imagine going through every day of your life like that!

Your problem is your trying to be logical, honest and truthful with a dysfuntional nut, and that's a battle you can't win.

Your friend is female right?

I could understand that she feels threaten by your friendship with your female friend. Bottom line, 99.9 percent of the time men and women can not be just friends. I would feel intimidated if my boyfriend kept helping other women. Even if your relationship with that woman is strictly platonic in your point of view, if very well may not be from your girlfriends or your female friends point of view.

Your girlfriend isn't completely selfish. If her kids are not your's and you cannot not be a good friend to your friends, than I think separating is the best answer. She will never change, that is just the way she is, accept it if you want to be with her.

However if your friends are also male friends, it a bit different.