There is this 14 year old boy who lives with me and my husband, his mother has no house, no job and her husband is on the end of his rope and wanting to leave her cause she is an acholic, I consider this boy as my nephew, he is wanting my husband and I to take custody of him. I am not sure how to do this. I know his mother will refuse to give up custody on her own so what other options do I have. I love this boy as if he is my own and I want the best for him. He is a good student he is dedicated to his schooling. And wants to go into the Navy, and I support him all the way but I am afraid that if he stays in his mothers custody he might not beable to succeed in his dreams. My husband works full time at a very well known, succseful job and I am tepmoraly disabled cause of diabetes so I am home all the time. We live in Oregon, so I am not sure what the laws are here. So if someone can help me out, thank u... :confused:

You have Standing in Court to file a Petition for Custody.
On the other hand, the court will be persuaded to give custody to a third party when looking at the circumstances involved it is presented with clear and convincing evidence that it is in the child's best interests for the children to be given to that third person.
The Standard of Proof for a Third Party to be successful, however, is more than just persuading the judge by presenting more, let's say, than 50% of the evidence. This lower standard exists in disputes between natural parents when they are disputing custody in a divorce case. However, in a dispute between a parent and a third party, the third party has a greater burden, which is, that the proof that he or she is required to present must be clear and convincing that the children remain with her or him.

Some of those circumstances may be as follows

The children have been with the third party for a long time, or
The home of the natural parents for some reason is not fit, or
The parents themselves are not fit at the time that they wish the return of their children, or
The child is old enough, such as being a teenager, and does not wish to be with this or her parents



In my view you can seek de facto custodian status.

Among many factors, the court will consider all relevant circumstances and the best interests of the child, which are determined by consideration of the following factors:

1. the wishes of the party or parties as to custody;
2. the reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient age to express preference;
3. the child's primary caretaker;
4. the intimacy of the relationship between each party and the child;
5. the interaction and interrelationship of the child with a party or parties, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interests;
6. the child's adjustment to home, school, and community;
7. the length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity;
8. the permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home;
9. the mental and physical health of all individuals involved; except that a disability, as defined in section 363A.03, subdivision 12, of a proposed custodian or the child shall not be determinative of the custody of the child, unless the proposed custodial arrangement is not in the best interests of the child;
10. The capacity and disposition of the parties to give the child love, affection, and guidance, and to continue educating and raising the child in the child's culture and religion or creed, if any;
11. The child's cultural background; and
12. The effect on the child of the actions of an abuser, if related to domestic abuse, as defined in section 518B.01, subdivision 2, that has occurred between the parents or the parties.

If a third party is awarded custody, the minor child's parents may retain visitation rights and may be ordered to pay child support to the custodian.