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-   -   Starting over (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=231547)

  • Jun 27, 2008, 08:03 PM
    blitzace
    Starting over
    Hey guys, I struggled for a while to get over somebody important to me, and I am happy to say I can finally live and have fun without the thought of them dwelling in my head 24-7. The problem is I feel different, I can no longer seem to communicate with females. Don't get me wrong, I can make them laugh and hold short conversations without making a fool of myself but I lost the ability to get them to open up to me, or even take it to the next lvl. Everything seems acquaintance like, I can get them to feel comfortable and open up to me. Even when I get numbers, I will call them, and talk for a while but I can't seem to get them to have that feeling where they just desire to call me back... What am I doing wrong? Have I been out of practice that long... Im not clingy or anything so I don't know what it is.
  • Jun 27, 2008, 08:28 PM
    Ash123
    How long ago did you break up with your ex?
  • Jun 27, 2008, 08:46 PM
    Chery
    Don't give up dear. At least you are out there and giving yourself another chance instead of being a hermit.

    ''If at first you don't succeed,. '' you know the rest.

    Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it and how your body talks... so practice a little - it can't hurt. If you have any female relatives or friends you can practice with them.

    Also the places you frequent might be the problem. Some people are out at night to just fleetingly hook up and not looking for serious relationships. So, try different environments/social groups.

    Good luck.
    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif
  • Jun 27, 2008, 09:31 PM
    gg23
    Kepp going buddy... and just don't be on a rampage, like oh I'm going to gettcha... women can smell it when you are really desperate... not that I am saying that you are... just be you.. and one of them will like you for who you are... I did just that... just met people and became friend and not expecting anything... and guess what? I pick up a chick that I didn't even expect... I m ean she cute and fun and good in... ( u know what I mean)... just chill and enjoy... kep going out and talking to people...
  • Jun 28, 2008, 07:12 AM
    talaniman
    Relax Spiderman, your powers will come back. Stay off the wall until then!!
  • Jun 29, 2008, 03:05 AM
    teezee
    What do you expect? Girls to just come throwing themselves at you left and right? Why does it have to relate to anything you are or aren't doing? Has the thought of maybe the specific girls you came recently across aren't the aggressive, promiscuous types? You should not come to such sudden conclusions. If you feel that you are the same as you were before the relationship, then there's nothing really weird going on here. If you don't know, then you need to ask yourself what has allowed you to hold back so much? Maybe your overall views have changed after you were in a relationship and maybe you need to specifically analyze those issues within yourself. Those issues could possibly hinder you from being as "alive" as you once were. I don't even really know what I am saying but all you should really get out of this is that not every girl you meet is going to respond the same way as the next girl and that you should sit down and analyze what views or feelings have changed you as a person after you went through this relationship so that can understand your status before you enter another relationship.
  • Jun 30, 2008, 05:45 AM
    Distantlove
    The best things take time. So be patient, don't expect girls to be all over you straight away. You have just been through heartbreak and it is natural to want to protect yourself from that in the early days of finally getting over somebody. Why rush things? Just have fun for now and you'll find that you are ready for commitment again oneday. If I were you, I would be wanting to make the most of my single life before someone else steps into my life. So make the most of it!

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