A few of you will know I have recently been dealt the 'i need time/space routine' and have experienced all the drama which precedes after this. As you'd expect my situation has been at the front of mind during everyday activities so many of the conversations I have been having with people have been quite eye opening. Aquentences of mine - seemingly happy people are all nursing broken hearts. Open wounds are everywhere.
You pull down those barriers and open up to someone, but for what in the end?

My real question - is a loving relationship worth the heartbreak?

100x yes. I know right now you feel like crap, but when you've finally moved on, you'll appreciate the relationship.

I've learned so much about myself from heartbreak, breakups, and relationships in general. There were the negatives--I can be too intense, demanding, too spontaneous, and oftentimes, act cold and distant--but there were positives--I should never settle for less--too. Most importantly, you're learning what you want in a partner.

I only hope that my exes have benefitted as well.

Look at it this way. Each experience is fashioning you into a better person and potential partner. Eventually, you may even find the person that you want to end up with. (if you believe in that sort.)

That is an interesting question and in the end it all depends on the individual, timing, and where they are as a person in there own life. But the thing is you can't look at your current loss and judge who you are in this context. I've been where you are at, and I swore that I would never go out with another girl again but after the pain wore off, I have. I'm sure you will too, this may not be the time, but at the same time the pain... no matter how bad, and I know it can get bad... but that pain is not for life and once you accept that then you can probably move forward a little easier.

Life's a rollercoaster. You get the highs and the lows. You just got to go along for the ride.

So, yes relationships are worth it. Every failed relationship teaches us something and helps us grow as an individual. Sometimes you got to experience the pain to recognize and value the joy.

Happily ever after really exists... in fairy tales. When someone we treasured is gone,its very much human to feel hurt, have self pitty, never ending nostalgic nights and a void of uncertainty. But that's life called spice. Withour it, life life will be meaningless. You risk. You lose some you win some. As Paula Abdul said in American Idol 7 Finals.. Sometimes it's the not winning that's important. We also learn in the battles that we lost

It's downs that make "ups" feel like ups. It's the heartbreak and the learning that makes workable love such a treat when it's finally achieved.

The TRICK here is to be smart about the process, and so many people simply aren't. They get into a situation and ride it LONG after they know it's time to end it, mainly because of their feelings. They ignore reality for the "love" feeling" as if feeling attracted to someone was the important part. It's not.

Being attracted to someone takes no effort at all. Falling in love often takes just as little effort. Then you spend GOBS of time and ENERGY trying to make it into something workable, and KEEP trying long after you should've moved on.

The trick is to not spend so much time trying to "fix" the guys you're dating, or letting them keep trying to "fix" you, the trick is to part ways before the "let's fix each other" becomes the miserable driving force in your relationship.

So, yes, it's worth it. But only if you're willing to keep looking. If you're a "hold on tight to this person regardless of whether they're making me miserable" kind of person, then no, it's not going to be a very fun ride.

It only takes one real good relationship to make you forget the many failed ones. Well worth it when it happens. Sucks big time when it doesn't.