Ask Me Help Desk - Just broke up with me girlfriend.want her back.

Just broke up with me girlfriend.want her back.

First time poster. I appreciate any thoughts and advice in advance. I'm going to be honest and forthright and not hold anything back. Thanks again for your time.

All right, my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me two weeks ago. She and I have broken up and gotten back together 2 times before hand. The first time was over me not providing enough attention or appreciation. After a few days of telling her I would give her all she needed, she came back. Things were great for another two months, but then she cheated on me with a guy. She didn't sleep with him, only made out with him, but she broke up with me because she had betrayed me. I still wanted her and I let her know that and got back together a week later.

Again, everything was fine for a month, but then we had unprotected sex and I panicked and suggested that she take the morning after pill to be sure. Well, she did , but a week later she started feeling horrible and bleeding profusely and she got really angry with me for asking her to take that pill. She also said that by having her take the pill, it was as if I was saying that I never wanted to have kids with her or marry her. That is not true, because I do want to marry her and raise a family with her someday because I do love her, but we weren't ready for a child yet, so I asked sher to take the pill. A couple weeks after she stopped bleeding, she got her regular period and I was really happy about that(because sometimes the pill doesn't work, so I was glad to see that it did) Went she saw how happy I was that she got her period, she got very upset and accused me of not wanting to have children with her.

Anyway, we went through a small break for that one, but I was willing to work things out and we eventually did. Things were good for another month, up until 2 weeks ago when she made out with one of her ex boyfriends who was in town for the weekend. So, even though she didn't sleep with him, she still cheated on me again. And as a result, she broke up with me to avoid hurting me in the future. But what is interesting, is that 3 days before she cheated, she told me that she couldn't wait to be married to me and that she couldn't wait to have kids with me. I agreed with her, because I do want to marry her.

But now, it has been two weeks since we broke up and I have been in contact with her a few times since then. She now says that she hates me because I made her take that pill, and she accuses me of not wanting to have kids with her. She says that she cheated on me because of that pill and that she did it to escape from me. She says that I don't care about her and that I never wanted to marry her. She tells me to rot in hell and to leave her alone.

The truth is, I DO want to marry her. More than anything. I love her that much and am willing to work on all our problems, because we certainly have them. But it appears right now that she doesn't. When we have broken up in the past, she has basically told me the same things as she is now, so I'm not entirely convinced that we're completely over.

I know that she cheated on me twice and I admit that I haven't been a saint either, but I truly love this girl and do want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm willing to forgive her for what she did to me, I just want her to forgive me for making her take that pill.

I know that she still loves me because she has never denied it. Even though we're going through this mess, not once has she said or implied that she doesn't love me anymore. In addition, all of her friends that I have spoken with say that she still loves me, but is very upset with me right now.

My current plan of action is to stay away and have no contact for a month. After a month I plan to contact her again and try to reconcile.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate any advice or opinion any of you may have. I just want to know if I have a shot.

Sounds to me like she was telling you the truth that she cheated as an excuse to escape from you. Sounds to me like she does not want to be in a relationship with you and all the things that lead up to her breaking up with you are just the path that lead to the break up that she wanted anyway. You can't hold on to her if she doesn't want to be with you. Next time you and any girlfriend need to communicate so you aren't accusing each other of wrong motives and so forth. Discuss children, commitment and everything before it gets out of hand like this did.

What kind of pill is that made her bleed profusely? She said she's cheated on u becaause she feel u think u dont like raising family with her by making her taking a pill. U sound like u are not in the same page and doenst communicate well.How old both of u?

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Sounds to me like she was telling you the truth that she cheated as an excuse to escape from you. Sounds to me like she does not want to be in a relationship with you and all the things that lead up to her breaking up with you are just the path that lead to the break up that she wanted anyway. You can't hold on to her if she doesn't want to be with you. Next time you and any gf need to communicate so you aren't accusing each other of wrong motives and so forth. Discuss children, commitment and everything before it gets out of hand like this did.

I AGREE WITH THIS POST buuuuuuutttt....There are also guys who just keep on promising to keep on getting free sex. But the truth is, they are just happy with the things are. She felt being used and started making gears

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Sounds to me like she was telling you the truth that she cheated as an excuse to escape from you. Sounds to me like she does not want to be in a relationship with you and all the things that lead up to her breaking up with you are just the path that lead to the break up that she wanted anyway. You can't hold on to her if she doesn't want to be with you. Next time you and any gf need to communicate so you aren't accusing each other of wrong motives and so forth. Discuss children, commitment and everything before it gets out of hand like this did.

I AGREE WITH THIS POST buuuuuuutttt....There are also guys who just keep on promising to keep on getting free sex. But the truth is, they are just happy with the things are. Maybe the GF felt being used and so she started making shift gears
.

I'd just like to clarify something. We have only had sex once together and that was the time that I have written about. She is 21 and I am 22. Thanks for the advice.

Well IF you get another chance you both need to make things clear, set ground rules and work on any compromises that can work for the relationship not against.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

well IF you get another chance you both need to make things clear, set ground rules and work on any compromises that can work for the relationship not against.

Thats right. I see your good intentions by not having a child this early. She's too young to be in a hurry. Are you still schooling? Doesn't she dream of being a successful careerwoman/housewife with you someday? If u both have a child at this stage, can she manage pressures and demands? Explain that to her then write here again.

also consider that she may have trust issues

This is all good stuff. But I really want to know if you all think I have a chance to reconcile with her and if so, the best way to go about it.

I really do have good intentions with her, she means a lot to me.

The only way you can reconcile is IF she is willing to talk and work something out.
If she is hating you that bad and wants nothing to do with you then there isn't much of anything you can do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lemanruss58

This is all good stuff. But I really wanna know if you all think I have a chance to reconcile with her and if so, the best way to go about it.

I really do have good intentions with her, she means alot to me.

If she and all her friends says she still loves you there's really a good chance u can reconcile with her but no one can guarantee. Ur right to give her sometime then call her and start asking questions why she feels not secure with you. Is sounds like u cheated on her too at one point so thats valid. If ur my BF ur done even u do it just once.So for ur questions how to reconcile...just remember the things u did at the start why she became ur GF. 1 1/ 2 yrs is long and u may not realized that affection declined in ur part. Dont forget to get her friends help. Give it some patience and if it wont work out, GIVE UP then move on. At least U TRIED.

Well no, I didn't cheat on her. She cheated on me twice. But you may be right in that I might have declined in affection over time. I didn't mean to, but it is entirely possible. I still love her though and I still feel that she loves me.

If things work out fine after this thread, he second cheat should be the last. She can't just cheat over and over if she doesnt like how things going on between you. She gotta learn how to communicate and u have to know how to listen. Set borders man! Can u imagine that if ur already married?

That's an excellent point. Thank you for your honesty. I really appreciate it. I just hope we can work things out.

The two of you may have a shot eventually. She may just need sometime to figure out what it is that she wants and the month of no contact could help, but it's possible it won't. She is not faithful so you need to consider if you want to chance her doing it again when times get tough. The two of you need to discuss your future before getting back together.

Excuse my harshness, but the two of you have a very weird way of showing love to each other. Its so weird I would have to question if either of you really knows what it is. Sorry, but it seems more abusive than loving, and not very healthy either. Will you get back together?? Gosh, I hope not but hope you both can be better for your own sakes, and give each other a chance to grow.

I can see why you may think that and you may not be wrong. We do need to have a lenghty discussion if/when we get back together about our future. But planning for that is premature since I don't even know if we will or not. But I do care about her deeply, enough to work on our issues.

It takes you both to care, and be willing to work together.

I care enough to work on our issues. Do you think she ever will?