Originally Posted by themountains
Hi, I've never used this site but I'm feeling desperate. I am 23 years old, and have been married almost three years. I dated my husband two weeks before I married him. I have to start by saying he's not a bad guy. He has never hit me or cheated on me, and he's fairly responsible with money. But he puts down everything I care about- my friends, my family, my ideals. He dismisses issues that are important to me. He teases me in ways that are hurtful, and then gets mad at me when I cry. He's very controlling, and wants to know everything all the time. He checks my phone to see what numbers I have, and sometimes he will go behind my back and call my friends and question them. I have never cheated on him, but when we first got together I had a problem about lying about stupid stuff, and he's never trusted me since then. We have had no incidences of me being untruthful in about 2 years. I feel so suffocated, like I have none of the freedoms I had before I met him. I told him I was unhappy, and he blew it off and said i was crazy... he's done this every time I felt like I had a real problem. So I finally said that I didn't think I could be with him, and he did a personality overhaul-- for a little while. The other night I went to a gay bar and stayed out till 4 a.m. singing karaoke. He was furious at me for being out all night. He said we needed a marriage counselor-- and I think we do, but we can't afford it right now. We have a daughter who is one and a half and I'm scared that she's going to end up screwed b/c of all the fighting. I want to do what is best for her, but also what is best for me. I don't think I can take much more... I don't want you to tell me to leave/stay, because we all know that is ultimately my choice. What I need to know is, if I stay, how can I cope with a seriously controlling husband and create a happy life from an unhappy one? I'm afraid if no one responds I will feel like there is no way.