I need help. I have recently discovered that my boyfriend of 5 years is carrying on secret sexual relathionships with several other women. He doesn't know that I know yet, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I am going to try to catch him in the act, but I'm afraid of what's going to happen. I need advice!


I want to hurt him so bad like he's hurt me. He's betrayed our friendship, and my trust and I want him to look me in the eyes when he sees that I know what he's done!

Just Dump him!

Get in contact with one of them, and have her invite you over... don't let her know you are his girlfriend. Be there when he shows up. I did this to a cheating ex. It was the funnest way to bust him. Dump HIM!!

That's why you don't let HER know that you are his girlfriend. You pretend to be her friend. When she mentions her boyfriend or the guy that she is boinking, tell her you'd love to meet him. Wait until he gets there, then BAM!

Call her while he with you so he can't deny it. When I called cheating ex girl on the side, I didn't pretend to be anything I wasn't, but was honest and told her who I was and what was she to him in a civil matter and she told all. As soon as he walked in I asked who the girl was to him and he claimed not to know her, but I put her speaker phone and his face drop and said it all.

As far as your money is concern, take him to court if he refuse to pay. I think you should do something soon.

That is another way that you can do it... And I agree, don't even ask him for the money, he won't pay you back, take him to court. Or perhaps get him to sign an I.O.U. before you bust him, to take to court with you.

After you "get him" and it's all over, I predict you won't feel any better having accomplished that goal. 100% guaranteed.

Think about it this way for a sec, if you REALLY want to get him, just start calmly packing. Let him see you doing it. When he asks why, just tell him. No anger, no questions, no accusations he'll just deny. "Oh, I'm leaving. You're dating others anyway, no big deal. I'm outta here."

He'll try to engage you in a debate, deny things you aren't even talking about, he'll want to draw you in and you'll just laugh out loud, like you would at anything silly you ever heard, and just keep packing.

The goal - leave him thinking you know, and couldn't care less. You are almost happy to (*giggle*) be free of him and his stupidity. Say it that way LAUGHINGLY.

The only thing that hurts more than being dumped is being dumped by someone who appears to be amused by your pain. I promise you this will "get him" long term way more than catching him.

And the bonus - you might actually believe it yourself. Sell this scene well enough and you're already on your way to putting it all behind you.

The best revenge isn't catching him in the act, the best revenge is to leave him thinking all his "sneaking around was a waste of time because you weren't that "in" to him anyway."

Oh, and never looking back, meeting a great guy, getting married and living happily ever after totally without him... the best revenge of all.

I would just pack my bags, be gone, no explanation.
You won't see the $5,000. Again anyway. Taking him to court the Judge would only grant you what you can prove, like in bills. So you would have to take proof. If you try and get him for money you handed him for lunch, gas, an evening out, etc... He will argue that it was a gift or you wanted him to have it. He never asked for it...
The Judge will say that is your loss, lesson learned. I can't sift through all this and figure it all out.

$5000. Think of it this way... how much would pay to go back and NOT marry the wrong guy? How much for a time machine that let's you go back and undo all the extra wasted years with a guy you shouldn't have stayed with in the first place?

How much would pay for that machine? At least $5000? There you go.

And now that you don't give a crap about him anymore, now that your developing a healthy apathy for him (not the same as hating him, that takes as much energy as loving someone... not caring is what you want), now that you're developing a healthy apathy for him, you don't have to fret making his life miserable later collecting on old debts.

So look at the $5000 as money well spent, that will calm you down. Maybe you'll get it back in the future, maybe not, you'll do all the legal stuff to try, right? But keep your head on straight about the whole thing.

$5000 for a time machine to go back and stop this wrecking train before it goes any further into messing up your life?. Score!

Disappear from his life, and get one your happy about. Any energy toward revenge, getting him back, or trying to understand is a total waste of time, so put all that energy into making yourself happy, the hell with the rest.