What the heck is 'faith' all about, and how can you really 'believe'?
I used to be Christian... I was rifling through some old Christian CDs of mine today, and got to thinking... I used to REALLY believe that stuff... and now I REALLY don't. And I guess one of the main reasons is that I feel I need proof...
A lot of things have changed in my life since then, and I've become sort of... more realistic, I guess. More logical. I can't just believe something based on what I was raised to believe... I can't just believe something based on a feeling that could be influenced so easily by my own emotional needs... I can't just believe something based on what others tell me... I can't just believe that a book which was written by people thousands of years ago was 'inspired by' a god that I can't prove exists...
I feel like... there's something else out there. Some sort of force or energy that everything comes from... I have no way of validating that belief either, and maybe that's just my own hope for something more, more than even a 'belief' in something... But let's just take for granted that there's SOMETHING or SOMEONE out there... How, then, do we figure out what that something else is, what it/he/she is like?
I just don't understand how people can believe something so strongly, with so many specifics. I can't even get to the point where I can undertand whatever 'energy' is out there (call it god, whatever... just that something else that is behind what we can see)... and I feel like if I'm going to understand what else is out there, I need to understand it in logical steps. Not just a 'feeling' or beliefs based on a book that I can't confirm to be more than just the unfounded beliefs of others thousands of years ago...
I guess I just don't get it. How can people understand whatever force or energy or god there is so much to be able to believe something like Christianity, which has so many specifics (that god sent his son, who was also god, to save humanity from their sin... and this son sent the holy spirit, which is also god... that god is three in one... )
I feel like 'faith' is a cop-out when you can't give any real answers for why you believe the things you do... and like saying you 'feel' something is not a dependable reason for 'believing' in something, because how you feel can be influenced by so many different things...
How do you believe something that you can't prove, that you can't even REALLY understand? I just don't get it... I know I used to do it, but looking back, I feel like I 'believed' so strongly because I needed to do so... and that once that emotional need was gone, and I had found something more concrete to fill it, my 'faith' faded quickly. Is 'faith' in something bigger possibly something that we use to fill in the gaps until we figure out how to live our lives on our own? And maybe some people are never able to do that, or get caught up in believing in something out of convenience and never progress beyond it?
I don't mean to insult anyone... this is just how I feel, and what's going on in my head. I'd like to have a discussion about it if anyone is game.