Ask Me Help Desk - Should I just.

Should I just.

It has been about a month after my girlfriend of one year & four months dumped me. She told me she has no feelings for me anymore and I felt like sh*t. But I picked myself up and continued my first year of college; unfortunately, I did not pass basic English so I will be attending a community college.

The issue is about my relationship lifestyle. For some reason, I do not know what I want from a relationship. My guy-buddies/friends are encouraging me to start finding girls and having casual sex. But, my mind tells me that I should find girls and have a relationship and then have sex.

I really don't know what I should do..

Q: Should I go for casual sex or relationship & sex?

Go for a relationship. You'll find more respectable girls. Girls that are just into casual sex, well, no one really wants them and they tend to have a ton of issues. Find a nice girl, get to know her and don't listen to your friends.

Some people enjoy sex, just for sex.

I am not one of them.

Yes, I've had my share of sex without an emotional connection, and it was never really very satisfying, not to mention, at times, dangerous.

There is nothing that compares with being intimate and erotic with someone who you are very emotionally connected with.

I say relationship, then sex, especially given the context of your post, and what your mind is telling you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockstar714

Go for a relationship. You'll find more respectable girls. Girls that are just into casual sex, well, no one really wants them and they tend to have a ton of issues. Find a nice girl, get to know her and don't listen to your friends.

True...
I did ask a friend of mine (girl) if she'd date a man-whore or a guy who is either a virgin or non-virgin... she said she'd date the guy who is either virgin or non-virgin..

Oh yes~ girls opinions work too!

If you're looking long time, then don't be a man-whore. I have had so many man-whore friends that its ridiculous. I never slept with them, but we were really good friends so they let me in on all kinds of secrets. The girls that slept with them they had no respect for, didn't really care about and just used, but the girls that played hard to get with them, those were the girls that made them melt. Those were the girls that they fell all over and wanted to be with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockstar714

If you're looking long time, then don't be a man-whore. I have had so many man-whore friends that its ridiculous. I never slept with them, but we were really good friends so they let me in on all kinds of secrets. The girls that slept with them they had no respect for, didn't really care about and just used, but the girls that played hard to get with them, those were the girls that made them melt. Those were the girls that they fell all over and wanted to be with.

Maybe I guess it was the environment I grew up since I attended an all-guys military high school. Majority of the guys pretty much influenced me =/

During my senior year, I had a room-mate who was a man-whore. He told me about different girls and how sex was awesome...

Yeah I'm sure it was awesome, but did any of those girls stick around?

Its up to you, do you want a plethura of girls and one night stands, or do you want something meaningful that won't make you look back and regret things? The thing with having all the girls, you have a higher risk of STDs, pregnancies and psycho girls...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockstar714

Yeah I'm sure it was awesome, but did any of those girls stick around?

Its up to you, do you want a plethura of girls and one night stands, or do you want something meaningful that won't make you look back and regret things? The thing with having all the girls, you have a higher risk of STDs, pregnancies and psycho girls...

That is another factor I am considering..

Psycho girls xD? Hahaha!

You have them one night, they think you're committed, start calling you 24/7, stalking you... I've seen it happen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockstar714

You have them one night, they think you're committed, start calling you 24/7, stalking you...I've seen it happen.

That is harsh :O...

What if it's like 'Knocked Up' except there's no pregnancy involved xD?

Well if its like "knocked up" but there is no pregnancy involved, then its not really like knocked up, now is it?

Yeah, you can find the girls that just want casual sex, but what happens if one of you gets emotionally attached and then the other isn't? Or what if pregnancy does happen?

I'm just saying, in the long run if you find a nice girl, you may be happier. Have you ever been a man-whore, or have you been in relationships?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockstar714

Well if its like "knocked up" but there is no pregnancy involved, then its not really like knocked up, now is it?

Yeah, you can find the girls that just want casual sex, but what happens if one of you gets emotionally attached and then the other isn't? Or what if pregnancy does happen?!

I'm just saying, in the long run if you find a nice girl, you may be happier. Have you ever been a man-whore, or have you been in relationships?

I have only been in one relationship out of my 19 years of living.

I've only been in 2.

I dated a lot, and I know from my experience with a few of my friends that once you give it up to a guy (as in someone you're not in a committed relationship with) then they are gone.

I have a friend that has only been in 1 relationship, however she sleeps around, and guess who never calls her again? The guy.

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Do you really want to be with another girl every night? You will start to lose respect for each of the girls you do this to.

What do YOU really want to do? Not thinking of what your friends TELL YOU to do, what do YOU want to do?

hmm

true :O

I'm off to my daily exercise of running... I just need some time to myself to think

I'll be back to receive more advise

At some point you will figure yourself out, and be comfortable with you, and love yourself enough to do what's best for you, and not the rest of mankind. Do what makes you happy, not necessarily popular, because after all, when you meet your maker, It will be just you trying to explain yourself.

Just my opinion, do what makes you happy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

At some point you will figure yourself out, and be comfortable with you, and love yourself enough to do whats best for you, and not the rest of mankind. Do what makes you happy, not neccesarily popular, because after all, when you meet your maker, It will be just you trying to explain yourself.

Just my opinion, do what makes you happy.

thanks..

I just don't know what will make me happy =/

Get out there, and find out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Get out there, and find out.

Well, I thought about casual sex and it's true that the few minutes of my life will be very pleasurable..

But, I also thought about relationship and sex...

it's difficult since there's going to be attachment going on~

any more advise :D!

Alright.. I was talking to a friend who lives in England, male as well, and I asked if I should go casual or relationship..

He said casual... his reason was "the pleasure" ....

lol

Don't do anything you will regret, or be ashamed of. A few minutes of pleasure is never worth the price you pay when there are attachments. Unless you're a cold hearted playa!

We all go through that journey of finding out about ourselves, and you will be no different. For now pleasure will do you no good, as you are still processing your last life lesson, and that's coping with your own feelings, in a realistic positive way. Walkaway from it without learning, you will go through it again, until you get it, no matter the pleasure you find.