Hi everyone. I need help with something that has been bugging me for years. I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend now for 5 years. For the first 4 years I was always finding porn on his computer which I got used to. But about 2 years ago I had found child porn on his computer. So I tried to do the right thing and told the cops for my children's sake. Anyway he went to court and he got away with it. So I'm trying to deal with that at the moment. Anyway every time I found porn I use to found gay porn. I confronted him about it and denies about being bi curious and goes off his tree about it.

When we would have sex he would do some odd things. What I'm about to say here might upset people but I need help from other people. We will be in the middle of having sex and he will want me to play with his anal which I do then he might c@% quite a bit on my chest which looks like c@% be he hasn't c@% fully yet. So he then licks up some and starts kissing me with it in his mouth. Does this mean he's gay?? I get a bit put off by it. Am I being paranoid? Please help! :confused:

1. You found child porn.. . why are you still with him?

2. how the heck did he get away with child porn?

3. as far as his actions in bed... that's his own thing. Not sure if this means that he's gay... but when it comes down to it, if it's not something you're into, then I suggest you bail out.

Uh, yeah, I'm going to have to second that first opinion you just got there...

It doesn't seem like your boyfriend being gay should be on the top of the list of reasons not to be with him anymore!!

You have kids.. he was looking at kiddie porn.. you called the cops on him, the case even went to court, and you're STILL WITH HIM? Can I ask WHY?

Just to be fair, though, I do agree with the funnysneezer that just because he's kinky in bed doesn't automatically make him gay... and like he said, if it ain't your thing... don't put up with it...

<moved from Introductions to Adult Sexuality>

Perhaps it wasn't kiddie porn because they saw it and didn't send him away because they determined it wasn't. The courts do go after that sort of thing very aggressively. The fact they saw it and didn't put him in jail is pretty definative answer to me you were mistaken.

Now as far as the rest... Lot of women like playing with guys butts, and a lot of guys like it. MOST of them would never think about towching another guy much less do it.

Now about the other I have to guess at what that really means but its his kink... lots of people have them just as lots more have hangups about certain stuff and things.

He isn't gay, and if he thinks enough of you to do it with you then likely he thinks reasonibly enough of you to not worry.

However if its something you really dislike tell him. If you like it then have at it. What two adults do together is between them. Nobody is getting hurt or humiliated.

I'm not 100% positive what is going on there, but his sexual practices with you don't seem all that unusual to me.

Is it that you aren't turned on by what he is doing; that you are merely a facilitator for his sexual acting out of his fantasies? That he has little concern for you feeling loved or satisfied by sexual relations?

It seems like you are looking for a reason to break it off with him... first the child porn on his computer then wanting to find that he is gay. You don't need a reason to break up with him at this point. You have children to protect until they are 18, and a guy in your house who seems unworthy of any sexual trust at all.

kiddy porn=BIG FRIGGIN ALARM BELLS! Get out of there.

forget the gay thing, it's irrelevant-you need to not be with him.

Here's the problem.. the only people that saw kiddy porn is her. She turned him in, they took the computer and found nothing illegal. There was no kiddie porn or he would have been arrested and sentanced.

Since when does someone get away with not doing something they are falsely accused of doing. Its clear that the legal autorities found nothing illegal.

People into that sort of thing should be in jail... not people wrongly accused of it.

I see other deeper issues here.

I agree, it does seem odd that you are still with him, unless you are getting mutual benefit from his behavior. Are you asking because you would like to bring another male into your bed and are trying to find out if he is amicable to that ? Another query might be as to why he is still with you after you betrayed him to the police ? Certainly, nothing in your question bothers me, except that I find it strange to say the least.

Straight men DO NOT look at gay porn! But I agree with the others the kiddie porn would have been enough for me. Get out of there.

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Originally Posted by MsGeeGee

Straight men DO NOT look at gay porn! But I agree with the others the kiddie porn would have been enough for me. Get outta there.

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There never was any kiddie porn. The police looked and never charged him. Thus no charges = no kiddie porn. They like putting away people for that. You can't get away with something you never did in the first place.

I see a woman with issues that needs some counseling before she ruins her life. She's already basically ruined the marriage with her repeated accusations that are baseless..

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Originally Posted by smoothy

There never was any kiddie porn. The police looked and never charged him. Thus no charges = no kiddie porn. They like putting away people for that. You can't get away with something you never did in the first place.

I see a woman with issues that needs some councelling before she ruins her life. She's already basically ruined the marriage with her repeated accusations that are baseless..

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The porn was kiddie like enough for her to think it was illegal. Um I have a friend, who uh, looks at porn and come across some stuff where the girl might be 18 but looks 12, still gross still legal. Does it make me uh I mean my friend sick yes. Assuming what she said is true he is on the path to pedophilia. But I do agree with you somewhat. I rarely see an unstable relationship with one stable person in it. If one is really messed up, so is the other half.

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Originally Posted by DuBas07

the porn was kiddie like enough for her to think it was illegal. Um I have a friend, who uh, looks at porn and come across some stuff where the girl might be 18 but looks 12, still gross still legal. Does it make me uh I mean my friend sick yes. Assuming what she said is true he is on the path to pedophilia. But I do agree with you somewhat. I rarely see an unstable relationship with one stable person in it. If one is really messed up, so is the other half.

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But the fact is its not kiddy porn if its legal.
There are a let of less developed women out there. If you dated one would you be considered a pedophile? Should lesser developed women be off limits until they look 50? I don't think so. My point was she was overreacting and was doing it repeatedly. If she hasn't already ruined the marriage she is well on her way to doing it single handedly.

Oh, I've seen a lot of situation where one party had issues... those issues made the relationship unstable. While sometimes the responsibility is shared you can't blame a failure on the one person without issues. Lot of shades of grey when it comes to who to blame in relationships. Each one is different.

Personally, if she looks like she's in the third grade, its kiddie porn to me legal or not. This is not a breast size issue.

I guess I should stop wearing that schoolgirl outfit my husband likes, since that's so close to kiddie porn...

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Originally Posted by DuBas07

Personally, if she looks like shes in the third grade, its kiddie porn to me legal or not. This is not a breast size issue.

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so young women with Double or Triple A cups should be off limits if they are skinny and have not much of a waistline just because they aren't well developed?

Because some women develop pretty fast and early and others... well don't ever develop quite so far. Because regardless of development no 18 year old looks like a third grader.

Its getting a little ridiculous... go to a porn finder website and type in teen. Then browse around for awhile and you will find pictures of girls you'd bet your house on were underage if someone showed you a picture and asked how old you thought she was.. Im talking about the girl looks like she might be 12 type of stuff. Its out there and its common. If you think its not go try for yourself. Now if she found loads of these types of pics... somethings wrong.

Im done with this conversation for the sake of it continuing with out me.

It's actually gone far afield from the original question anyway.

Real men do not look at porn. Real men do not look at kiddy porn. That is down right wrong. I do believe he has a problem. If he is licking his own semen you have a problem