As some of you know, I have been struggling on and off with my ex. We were together for awhile and then I ended up pregnant. Neither one of us was wanting another child at this point in our life. He started acting weird on me, saying he was scared. Several times he stated that he wasn't sure what he wanted out of our relationship and wanted to be just friends. Every time we would hang out we would end up together again and then he would get scared a few days later. He is manic depressive so he has mixed and confusing feelings a lot. I eventually got tired of the whole situation so I made it clear that we could be friends, but I'm not willing to try another relationship with him since if seems like games to me. Well today I ran into him at the store and I gave him a hug then he kissed me a few times on the neck and head. Since we haven't talked at all in about a week, he asked if he could call me and I said yes. When he called I made it clear once again that there was going to be boundaries in our friendship. He then started asking a lot of questions about a guy that I've been hanging out with who is just a childhood friend. He seemed so concerned that I was dating him. Well, I just moved into a new place and he asked if he could come by and hang out with me and went on to say that he didn't know how he would react if I started dating someone else, but for me to tell him if I started. He is a good guy nut he would always use the excuse that he didn't want to hurt me since he didn't know what he wanted. He also continues to tell me about the chemistry he feels when he's around me. I don't know what to do. I really don't understand why he is so worried about who I see or what I do. Is he acting this way maybe because he has regrets about losing me? I don't know what to think anymore.

Still missing the point. This entire relationship should be developing around how you two are going to handle the baby responsibilities. That boat sailed and you have to ride it all the way now. Stop fiddling around with the play dating.

Oh, and it's time to send out birth announcements to all your friends and family, and his. Make sure it's honest. Enjoy the ensuing show.

Remember, as far as your concerned it's all positive and happy. Anyone who tries to bring you down or talk bad about the situation should be tsk-tsked right to their face and told to get over themselves. It is what it is.

Your guy needs to see you being strong and unmanipulatable. (is that a word) He might actually like strong, assertive you.

I already told him that I want nothing more than friendship. I decided to remain friends for the baby's sake when it arrives. I just don't know how else to get all of this through his head. I think he's holding on to the hope that we will get back together eventually, but it's not going to happen. I don't want to get mean with him, but it may be the only option left.

If you keep letting him in to talk about your personnel business and his feelings what do you expect but him thinking there is a chance. The only thing he should be talking about is pampers, formula, and child support. Tell him that, and leave the rest alone. Its not mean to put your unborn child first.

Thanl you! I try not to discuss my personal life with him, but that's what he expects. He drops the subject about the baby when I bring it up and he tries to talk about the two of us. Should I just try to avoid him for awhile?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by confused1145

He drops the subject about the baby when I bring it up and he tries to talk about the two of us.

---

Talk to a lawyer about getting a court order for child support. Once he finally figures out you aren't going to have a romantic relationship, he'll probably try to skate on his child support obligations, so get the force of the law behind you. You owe it to your child.

Quote:

---

Should I just try to avoid him for awhile?

---

Yes, that's a very good idea, since he acts as if he doesn't want to handle his business the easy way. Then make him do it the hard way.

Everything is asked questions about things other than the baby, simply don't answer, he's not your man and you owe him nothing. Nip that in the butt right away when he goes out topic and if he cant, hang up.

It seems that you fall into his trap because your not over him. Don't allow him to be kissing you whereve whenever, that's something you need to stop otherwise you'll continue to be in this same boat. When you start get tempted to something with him don't, don't allow him to come by your house, what's the reason for that. Stop being in this eve lasting roller coster ride. Move on, heal, and get prepare for your child because he/she should be the only one turning your life upside down. Let this guy turn someone else life upside down.

Also, I see you sometime giving useful advise to other people and its time to follow your own words. You know always what you need to do, but sometime when the shoes are on the other foot we don't want to do what's right or best, but you have make a healthy wise choice, even when you don't want to. You be surprise how clearer your mind would be.

Your right, I do find it easy to give others advice, but it's hard for me to take it myself with this particular situations because none of my methods seem to work with this guy. He is not taking the messages or no for an answer no matter how mean I tend to get. The only thing on my mind now is the child I have now and the one on the way.