Ok so every time I give my boyfriend oral sex I always get coldsores is that a bad sign about him?

Yep, need to use protection

There were some troubling stats on TV today--one out of five adults in America have genital herpes. Oral sex is probably the cause of such an epidemic as this... originally given from mouth to genitals by infected folks... and maybe right back atcha genitals to mouth.

Disease really spoils sexuality, or I would think so not having had any diseases myself. I'm old and old-fashioned, so I have been told, thank heavens! :)

First... please make sure you are using the right terminology.

A "cold sore" is caused by a herpes virus, but usually not the genital virus, and it is outside of the mouth. Canker sores are not herpes, are inside the mouth, and are not contagious. Some mistake canker sores for cold sores.

Also... understand while the word herpes usually is used by the general public to mean genital herpes... it's a class of viruses that range from chicken pox to cytomegalovirus to genital herpes... so just saying "herpes" doesn't mean the STD most people mean when they use the word.

Second, cold sores are caused by HSV1. Genital herpes are caused by HSV2.

A person can be exposed and a carrier to HSV1 in their mouth and have no sores. Their immune system can suppress this for some reason. You can be exposed to this simply by kissing a carrier, even if that person doesn't have a noticeable sore. That you get cold sores does not mean its from oral sex.

Now... just because HSV1, the cold sore virus, isn't genital herpes... doesn't mean you cannot spread it through oral.

One of the triggers, among many others, is physical stress at the skin. It is possible that oral, especially if extended, can be irritating your skin.

Many are exposed to hsv1 by the time they are adolescents... and its not because they are having oral sex. If you picked this up along the way, its likely mouth to mouth contact. I likely picked it up from a parent who had hsv1 and gave me a peck on the mouth for a goodnight kiss.

If you are seriously worrying about this... see your doctor to confirm it is just hsv1 and ask them to culture it.

Use condoms... if you didn't give herpes simplex to him you probibly will in time.

Him, you probably now have herpes. Think about what you are doing. Unprotected sex is DANGEROUS sex. See your doctor to find out if you have a disease.

One of the best things you can do if you are in a long-term relationship and plan not to use condoms (i.e. other forms of birth control which can carry more risk) is for both of you to be tested for VD. That way there are no surprises. Both of you do it, and if you have a caring partner s/he will have no problems. Some people can be carriers and just not know it - this is good information to have so precautions can be made so both can enjoy their relationship fully.

There a lot of myths about herpes, and one commercial on TV is spouting that ONE study showed that people got herpes when their partner had no signs or symptoms.

I found this to be hard to believe. It is to my understanding that herpes is not always active and lies dormant between outbreaks. Most people know when they will be having an outbreak, they have a feeling of tingling, like being pricked by pins. Then the outbreak then remission.

I had a long term partner who had been married to someone for seven years. She did have herpes (thanks to someone not telling her) and he NEVER contracted it from her. She always knew when the outbreak was about to happen and was honest about it. He neither has it nor is a silent carrier. Just an example.