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-   -   I want my ex back but there are messy contributions (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=229665)

  • Jun 22, 2008, 09:04 PM
    Determined101
    I want my ex back but there are messy contributions
    This is how it works. I was with my exfiance for 2yrs and some change. We definitely had our share of relationship problems but overall we weren't that bad off. We've been separated close to a year now and I've done what I can to try and get over him. It hasn't worked. Im to the point where I know more than anything that he's the person I want to be with, but contributing factors are standing in the way. What Im asking is you're specific advice as to how to win him back because Im at my last straw.

    Contributing factors:
    • We live a substantial distance apart. I mean states.
    • We have a child together.
    • He has since gotten a girlfriend whos relationship on the outside looks stable but realistically I know hes not going to stay with her. His eyes are straying dramatically.
    • We're not on personal speaking terms. We'll talk about our child but otherwise nothing.



    What I need:
    • [I know this sounds horrible but please bare with me] How to get him away from her and back to me and our child.
    • How to go about fixing our relationship so we're on speaking terms.
    • How to stelthly get him thinking about me again and reminding him why he loved me in the first place.
    • How to cement the deal so hes mine again.




    The way I see it is its always easier to rekindle a flame that was once there to spark what never has been so please, Im BEGGING you, I need your help.
  • Jun 23, 2008, 12:13 AM
    ChihuahuaMomma
    Jut ask how he is, what's new, and simply say "I miss you". You don't want to just jump in and say, "Dum your girlfriend, move here, and let's get married."

    Why did you two break up in the first place?
  • Jun 23, 2008, 12:48 AM
    KaylaCares
    tell him you miss him don't break down and cry if he says he moved on

    I'm in the same problem =[ and I can feel your pain
    just that I don't have a kid
  • Jun 23, 2008, 09:23 PM
    Determined101
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma
    Jut ask how he is, what's new, and simply say "I miss you". You don't want to just jump in and say, "Dum your girlfriend, move here, and let's get married."

    Why did you two break up in the first place?


    I know its kind of chicken but I've done as much through email, appologising if I'd ever hurt him and things of the sort, saying if I could I would do anything to fix how things are now, etc.

    We innitially broke up when I was pregnant because neither of us were happy. He had cheated in the past so there was no trust on my part and with the whole hormonal aspect I was crying everyday.

    Before our baby was born we got back together but separated again because I found out from mutual friend that he had cheated again. I needed a break and thought it would be the same as it always was, we'd have our distance but get back together eventually. He no later got a new girlfriend and we fought so much that we stopped talking all together.

    We have a lot of issues because I cought him a lot because I snooped so he doesn't think he can trust me because I'll go behind his back to find out information and Im sure there is a higher severity because he got cought with his pants around his ankles.

    Im not saying our situation is perfect and I totally know the whole standpoint of "Why would you want to be with a cheater" but anyone who's ever been in that situation and been in love knows how it is, if you love that person you're willing to work through anything.

    I just don't know if "I miss you" is going to be enough. I need to entirely revamp our relationship to get on good terms. If I ask him "How are you" most of the time he'll just say "Fine" and then drop the subject all together. It's a ty complication.
  • Jun 23, 2008, 09:47 PM
    simoneaugie
    "I want to be with you. I know you're not perfect and accept you just as you are. Is there anything I can do that will bring you back to me?"
  • Jun 24, 2008, 04:53 AM
    talaniman
    Haven't you forgot the most important factor here, and that's how he feels about all this, and would he throw away what he has to go back to where he was not happy at?? That's asking a lot, and not realistic, nor healthy.

    Quote:

    We've been separated close to a year now and I've done what I can to try and get over him. It hasn't worked.
    So your back to obsessing over your babies daddy because you can't move on?? That is not healthy on your part either.

    So what work have you done to get your life in order??

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