My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years, we have 2 kids (5 and 3 months). I caught him cheating on me with one of his co-workers and I left him for a year. We have been back together for almost a year now. 2 months ago I found out he was googling his exgirlfriend, I let him know how bad that hurt me etc.. 2 days ago I found out he was googling her AGAIN (like 30+ times) while he was out of town. When I approached him he frist lied, then said he was just curious. In the middle of this disaster he went of town, I told him I felt his leaving for a hobby weekend made me feel less important than the hobby and I could not believe he did not even offer to come home if it would make me happy. About 45 min after we hung up he called back and said he was coming home early... HE LIED, he stayed! The point is... I am still recovering from his dishonesty and cheating a year ago and he is lying again. Can I give him another chace? We have 2 kids

"i caught him cheating on me..."

... This is what got the ball rolling for him to have the problems he's having now--which is why he should be doing all he can to get back in and STAY in your good graces...

"2 months ago i found out he was googling his exgirlfriend"

... Can I ask if this is the same girl he cheated with? Taken by itself, this is not too horrible of a thing to do, especially if, like he says, it was just out of curiosity... but if this is the girlfriend he cheated with, it's of course going to sting a little more when you find out...

"2 days ago i found out he was googling her AGAIN"

... What did he not find on his first attempt to Google her that is making it so irresistible he has to attempt it again? And 30 times? Is he looking for something specific or what? Have you asked him specifically what IT IS that he's soooo curious about?


"he called back and said he was coming home early.... HE LIED, he stayed!"

... Your guy sounds pretty selfish; but have you ever heard the one about how you teach people how to treat you... Girl, you're going to have to grow some serious balls if you want to rein this man in... You, of course, can't do it all though... he's going to have to meet you halfway on this one and get over himself (and his ex)...

"Can i give him another chace?"

... Of course only you can truly answer this one... But I would think that the more important question to ask here is not do you want to give him another chance; but what do you want to give him another chance to do?
Do you want him to have a chance to love you and work as hard as he can to make your family a unit and not just 4 separate individuals who live together? Or do you want to give him a chance to deceive you while he revisits his past?

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Can I give him another chance? We have 2 kids

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NO!! Go to court get child support, and heal yourself, and start building your own happiness, starting with loving yourself.

First, a lia can't never be trusted. At least most liars are predictable and can easily be caught in their lies. You basically know where you stand with a liar, no where. When your in a relationship with a liar it makes your relationship worthless.

Secondly, for him to be your boyfriend of 10 years, it sounds like he has no respect for you and really don't care about your feelings. Is he a good father to your kids and are you holding on to him for this reason?

You have two options, stay or leave. If you stay he will continue with his behavior causing stress and bringing a lot of drama to you. You will never trust him and this wilo leave you feeling hopeless and heartbroken. If you leave, you will be hurting at first but in the long run it will save you a lot of stress and mental pain from him.

Also, you must think of your kids. They don't need to see mommy sad/depress because of dad behavior. Kids ar smarter than you think and pick up on many things, so do what best for them. A mention in the above post you will entitle to collect child support.

In the end it your decision but I hope you make the right way. Remember he already cheated/lie to you and don't seem to want to change and it don't seem like he will be changing any time soon.

I will say, people who can lie in this way only become sorry when caught… I would say if you really want this relationship to work out, get some counseling. These kinds of problems don't go away on their own, have a serious discussion with him and find out if he really thinks your relationship is worth working hard to make things right between you. It is likely if you do not get some kind of help on this the problem it will just escalade and get worse. He seems to be a habitual liar and that is a major problem that will not just go away on its own. You deserve better and you need to tell him it is his responsibility to show you that he is worth your love, he should be willing to get some counseling or do what ever it takes to get over this problem, if not then you know you need to let him go.

How many chances are you going to give... is he really on a hobby weekend!!

This is what your life is always going to be... he told me this, but is that right or is he lying.
You will never be able to trust him or believe a word that comes out of his mouth, if he's cheated on you once he'll do it again, although he'll swear on his children's lives that he won't... trust me he will.

Some women are prepared to accept their man like this because he'll always come home to them... are you?

The children are the ones who will suffer in the end, several years down the line,when you've decided you've had enough, where as if you sort it now,they are very young and they will adapt, as hard as that sounds I feel that for them to have a stable up bringing, you need to make the break now,make a new life for yourselves and eventually find a decent loving man to support you in all you do...

It's up to you on giving him another chance. Doesn't sound like he's going to change. Me myself, I would walk away from the whole relationship. Who knows what other lies he told that you never found out about.

You two are just dating. There's no convenantal bond, no provable commitment. Having babies doesn't do it, that just shows you can't even get the contraception thing right.

You two are just dating. The kids need to be protected, but also maybe protected from this unstable situation. As long as you're in this failing experiment, nothing will improve.

He's just dating you. How's the dating thing going? Ready to live with this guy unmarried and insecure for the rest of your life? Or until the kids are grown?

He won't change, probably doesn't feel he needs to. As long as you two are just dating, he's mostly right. Sorry about the kids and living together, that all just messes up the "fixing this situation" steps, doesn't it?

Tal is right. Fix it.