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-   -   The Friend Zone (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=229362)

  • Jun 22, 2008, 12:10 AM
    theatreking11
    The Friend Zone
    I got to let it out...

    I met a girl who is more than a year older than me. We are best friends but I want more. The only thing is that I'm not the guy she would usually go for. I'm not ugly, I'm pretty actractive but she's into muscle guys who are "older." She wants a hottie.

    The poit of this is that I know a guy can sweep any girl off their feet and I don't know if I have. She calles me everyday while I don't call her. We talk about everything and its gotten to the point where EVERYONE thinks we are dating. But I don't know why she doesn't like hint that she likes me. I hate the friends zone... what do I do?
  • Jun 22, 2008, 01:02 AM
    N0help4u
    Give her time. She needs time to transition from her 'muscle guy' image that she wanted to consider going for something she wasn't expecting. Don't get your hopes up but go with the flow, who knows where it will go.
  • Jun 22, 2008, 05:21 AM
    talaniman
    You will never know what she wants until you ask her.
  • Jun 22, 2008, 01:21 PM
    NorthernNiceGuy
    This happened to me at the end of high school... I was "best friends" with a girl who I liked a lot. (frankly, I think most of the time the guy always likes the girl... ) We talked on the phone, hung out all the time and became very very close. I never actually told her how I felt, but honestly I don't see how she couldn't tell. I guess I kind of gave up around graduation and started to kind of date my now ex girlfriend. Well my "best friend" went nuts, she came out with how much she liked me, however by that time I had moved on.

    I think what I am trying to say is that something needs to happen that turns on that light inside her head that tells her that she likes you. Feeling like she might lose you to another is a possible scenario but there are probably a lot of other things that could do it too. It may just take time for her to realize what she wants... and it could very well be that she isn't interested in you... but who knows.

    Asking her is a possible solution... But remember if the feeling isn't reciprocated than it may have a serious consequence on your friendship. Either wait it out or talk to her about it is all you can really do. You'd have to weigh the pros and cons on that one though...
  • Jun 22, 2008, 02:18 PM
    confused1145
    Continue to be the friend that she needs. Maybe ask her if she sees anything in you.
  • Jun 22, 2008, 07:57 PM
    LivingtheLifeinFLA
    Have you tried to kiss her? What are you waiting for. Make a move. If she rebuffs, tell her "look, I've seen the losers you hang out with. Its time to hang out with a real man". Then leave and wait for her call.
  • Jun 22, 2008, 08:29 PM
    bigbird213
    Since you are already so close, you could always ask her. I don't mean in the confess your love and spill your guys sort of way, that would probably just scare her off. You could bring it up in a very calm and mature way...

    Something along the lines of: "So, have you ever thought of us as more than friends." or something. I just made that up, but you should get my drift...
  • Jun 23, 2008, 07:32 AM
    talaniman
    Before you ask for more, you should know what it is you want. If you have been hanging out for a year, you should have some idea how she feels and how best to approach the subject. Do you want more time?
    An exclusive relationship? More dates? SEX?

    If your going into this without knowing what you want, you'll get nothing. Take the risk, and have a conversation over coffee, after you make up your own mind.
  • Jun 23, 2008, 08:16 AM
    KalFour
    I've been there. Once your friendship's at a certain stage, some things just remain perpetually unspoken.

    A cynical perspective:
    Ladder theory - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Kal

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